renegotiating experience

I've been reading a book about Narrative practices, and this struck me tonight; I wanted to remember it.

I have proposed that the deconstruction of taken for granted ways of thinking and being presents persons with options for the negotiation and renegotiation of their experience of life in terms of alternative modes of thought and practices of life. I have further proposed that this deconstruction frees persons to more actively monitor the real effects of their ways of being and thinking, and that this has the potential to provide them with the opportunity to have more to say about which ways they might live, and which ways they might think. 

            Michael White, in Narratives of Therapists Lives 

Anyway

from http://ptskjohnson.blogspot.com

I love these words from Mother Theresa.  

I needed to be reminded of them today.  

Maybe you did too?

carefree, zippy, and juicy

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to be kind to ourselves?  I was part of a class this week that did some group testing for a facilitation certificate.  After each of us were tested, the first question was:  What did you like about what you did?  Inevitably, we responded by saying what we didn't like.  

It seems like such a deeply ingrained default position to report our faults - its like we don't even know how to acknowledge our strengths.  Someone noted that thinking of what we liked about our test was like writing with the left hand when you're accustomed to using the right... As a counsellor, I want to help us think differently!  I have this quote in my journal that says:

I have this relentless hope that we're going to make it easier for women to feel better about themselves

Coincidentally, I got a package of reconnect to yourself cards the other day in a gift package I won from Eve Studios.  

So, this morning, I went in to the office and shared the cards with a few of the lovely ladies I get to work with.  We decided to leave the cards by our desk and think of the ways we embody the characteristics we randomly picked out of the deck.  Its a great way to be kind to yourself and practice affirmation ... maybe even a beginning to overcoming the tendency to pick ourselves apart at every opportunity!  The cards I got to reflect on today said: carefree, zippy, & juicy.  Maybe I am carefree in a (very) few places in my life, but I'm learning!   Zippy... well, yeah, I can think of a few areas of my life where that applies.  (and not only while driving around in my little blue car!)    And juicy... well that one takes imagination, but sure -  it fits too!!

One of the other girls got these cards: authentic, peaceful, & deserving. She loved it and felt like the descriptions were perfect for some of the different things she's figuring out right now.  And, she's definitely one of the most peaceful people I know - a very refreshing face at the end of a long day or whenever I'm facing difficult things alongside our clients.  

What a fun way to start the day!

What about you - do you find it hard to be kind to yourself?  I have for many years.. but ever so slowly I'm learning to be kinder ..... What are your reflections on the journey of being gentle to yourself?