a song and truth - (un)answered prayer

this song, by JJ Heller, has been on my heart lately. The different music teams each week have been playing it in church. The lyrics have come into my mind often; its been on mental 'repeat'.


The opening words - 'I have unanswered prayers' - bring tears to my eyes every time I listen.  Mostly because I DO have unanswered prayer.  Unhealed places.  Trouble I wish wasn't there. A mended heart that feels so fragile sometimes.  Places in me and near me where hardheartedness prevails, in spite of so many attempts and pleas to soften and overcome it.

But thats not what this post is about.  Yes, I ... we .. have unanswered prayers.  But we also have ANSWERED PRAYERS.  Here are a few I was dwelling on yesterday....

A friend is celebrating three weeks clean.  I had the chance to throw my arms around her yesterday, and say again - with all my heart: " I BELIEVE IN YOU'.   And to thank her for the privilege of being part of her journey. And to thank the spirit of God, who orchestrates and dwells in these experiences.  My friend and I have shared raw, deep, scary moments together - lots of them not nearly as mushy as these few words might make it seem.  She still has a long road ahead.  But no matter what, I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

I just heard about a young lady who stayed at Flats only for a week last year.  At the time, I worried about her presence among us, about her influence on my kids.  She scared me, and I never figured out how to connect with her.  But someone else who lived here at the time did know how to connect.  At the time, it seemed superficial - no impact was mentioned or even evident.  But we recently learned that this young lady has taken huge, leaping steps since her week with us a year and a half ago.  She is in a brand new place, having left behind  a few vices that had power over her life back then.  We can't take credit for this.  I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

We spent the weekend retreating and planning with the Flatlanders long term team.  I am so excited about next year!  We've learned from mistakes, experimented with trust, and figured out a little bit about how to 'offer ourselves to each other' in authentic ways.  We've celebrated that we sometimes recognize the kingdom of god happening right in our midst.  How did we come together? Who pulled all the strings for us to be in the same book (we aren't all on the same page all the time!), with such relevant experiences, strengths, and abilities? I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

I was asked to share my 'giving birth legacy' today ... 'because all women know things they don't realize about having babies'... and as I paused to think about the 16 years since I first gave birth, I realized just how much I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

There is so much more...

I have unanswered prayers.
I also have answered prayers.
When my world is shaking, HEAVEN STANDS.
Listen to the song..... :)

igniting the imagination

Shane Claiborne was here a few weeks ago, and I went to Knox Church on Edmonton St. to hear him, along with a whole bunch of other Winnipeggers.

If you don't know who Shane is, check out the simple way, or the site for a book he co-wrote with Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove and Enuma Okoro, common prayer.

anyway, it was pretty inspiring being there and seeing just how many church type people were interested in things like what Shane would talk about.

 heres a little snapshot of how I've continued to mull over some of the ideas that were shared.  There's been a whole lot of stuff continuing to rattle around in my head. (don't worry, i wont share ALL of it here...!!)

• how can I (me, our family, Flats, the church) get right into the thick of the struggles around us?  What creative involvements have we overlooked or felt too shy/tired/ill equipped to engage in?  CREATIVE engagement, this phrase has permeated my prayers.
• did you know that the church has an image crisis?  I knew, but I didn't know that there was research to support it!  according to barna research, Christianity  is known for being three things above all others.. anti-gay, hypocritical, and judgmental.  ouch.  lord, help me to recognize all the things i need to confess.
• doctrines should be much harder to love than they apparently are.  and people should be much easier to love than they apparently are. I've been praying to learn new things about loving well.

Apparently Shane is coming to Winnipeg again in a couple of weeks... if you hear about it, you should go!

a funny.

I've seen this before, and saw it again at Ryan's blog.  I've been reading his site lately, and its good stuff. Check it out if you can.
 Once upon a time I used to hang out with Ryan's brother a lot (or he used to come over and yell at my TV)... reading Ryan's blog reminds me of conversations and friendship that its nice to remember...

the church

Read Steve Bell's blog this morning... here is a quote about the church that struck me;

... Her flaws do not constitute her any more than mine constitute me, and I bet yours don’t constitute you either. It’s terribly important we own up to and amend for our weaknesses. But it’s also  important we don’t allow them to define us ...

A good reminder for me.. I am often disillusioned with the church, yet I always love her deeply and feel pulled in the direction of defending and building her up.

city wide service

Back in January, a whole schwack of Winnipeg churches got together and we had our first (hopefully of many!) city wide service.  I can't remember the exact #'s but I think there was about 1000 more people than were anticipated - total of about 7000 people, I think?  I am so glad we were there!  It was a moving and beautiful morning.  It was held at the MTS Centre, and the music and message were broadcast from speakers right onto the street downtown.

There were some familiar faces.. like this beautiful blonde lady that sat right near us!  And Margaret and Christina from WCV were among the worship dancers, it was great to see familiar faces.


The flags were my favorite part, it was really touching as each nation brought their flag forward.
... more familiar faces - Kilcona ushers (including my brother-in-law!) were serving that day.Bruce, our beloved pastor, has had a heart for expressions of unity in the larger church of Winnipeg ever since he moved to Winnipeg.   He was part of orchestrating this service, and I was proud of him!  It felt like a celebration.



hey... this wasn't taken at the city wide service.  but its a nice pic of two sweet boys!

what love does

This weekend we're helping out and participating in a conference called What Love Does. There are a few guest staying at Flatlanders, so its been fun to get ready for their arrival. We've also gotten some of our spaces ready for workshops and shared meals. I'm fondly recalling days of event planning and realizing how much I enjoyed it!
It'll be a whirlwind of activity, but i think we're going to treat Monday as a rest day. (kinda like after YA weekend at Bethany!)
Here's some of the stuff I'm most looking forward to:

• Sacred Places - Throughout the weekend, we will be going to lots of out-of-the way places and visiting with people, having communion, sharing stories. I'll be bringing some folks to my friend Blackie's place twice. I stopped at Neechi foods today to buy some baked bannock for the occasion.
• worship led by amazing vineyard musicians, including once of WCV's founding pastors; David Ruis. one of the coolest things about where we live is that we hear the worship bands practice regularly. His was a new but familiar voice carrying up the stairs today :)
• learning more about the heart of this place we call home, more about the community around it, more of the early vision of those who have prayed and laid a firm foundation for the stuff we now engage in.
• Community BBQ on Sunday. Its always good to see who shows up when there's an open invitation.
• Youth Track. Our kids are registered along with 80 others who will be doing their own sessions, their own inner city learning. It'll be exciting to see what they learn!
• being with my husband! He almost went to a different event this weekend, so I'm particularly thankful that we'll be together.

how we could be all the time

I saw this video at nance and sean's a couple of weeks ago. It inspired me. I started writing this post with words articulating more thoughts and reflections about thinking 'collectively'.

But then, I decided that I can't do justice to the idea, nor can I even communicate whats in my own head ... so, better to let the video speak all by itself. (and you have to watch it in its entirety - 41/2 minutes - It's worth it! The message is in the crowd, not Oprah or the lyrics ...)

I like it. I'm inspired. I wish and pray for the world to move together, letting the rhythm and reason established by the Master Choreographer guide us ...

Responses

We've had some interesting responses from friends and family as we've settled in to community life in the inner city. I thought I'd share a few...

"Is this like a midlife crisis or something? Aren't you guys too young for a midlife crisis?"

"Main and where? there are no houses there. ARe you living in a condemned building?"

"So.. where are your kids going to live, then?"

"My car's been in the parking lot for half an hour, should we check if its still there?"

"You're the family that lives at Flatlanders? We're so excited to have you with us!"

"Let me know when you get a real house, then I'll visit you! Or maybe we could go to a restaurant to visit?"

"YOu live in a church? That must be convenient on Sundays!"

"It's so good to have a family here!"

"Wow, I guess that decision is the definition of calling!"

"Are you running away from something?"

"Why?"

"Your kids can sleep over at our place, 'cuz ours are sure not going there! We only have two of them, you know!"

"What do you do to feel safe?"

These responses have at times been hilarious, at other times heartbreaking. To be honest, I was simply unprepared for the level of skepticism we've encountered. Don't hear me emphasizing only the negative; there have been many encouragements and affirmations too! And don't hear me only questioning the questioners; we had to come to terms with our fair share of questions, too.

The vision for Flatlanders Inn includes many more families to living here in the years ahead. In fact two family units are going to be under construction by the end of the year. You know, my heart for that vision is growing daily; not only for what it means for the Flatlanders community, but also for what it could mean in the broader community.

Have you seen that MCC poster that has a bunch of sayings about building global community? One of the sayings reads: "Don't confuse your comfort with your safety." That line has played in my mind often lately!

I re-read Mark's account of the Gerasene (Gadarene?) demoniac this morning, and again at our worship night tonight. Mark spends more time on this story than do Luke and Matthew, I think it's because Mark is emphasizing the importance of the kingdom ministry of breaking down barriers. Early in his modeling to his followers, Jesus chose to take them to a place where there were many things they would have had no previous experience of; things that were completely UNSAFE for a good Jew. He exposed them to: demons, gentiles, pigs, blood, tombs - he brought them to the least safe place imagineable! (Imagine those boys getting out of the boat, mouths agape, minds racing, wondering what on earth this Jesus was leading them into! And wondering how they could ever get clean again!) By the end of this story, Jesus demonstrates some of what he was on earth to accomplish - some important aspects of the ministry that would ultimately be passed on to those who follow him. I love that he knew all the rules and methodically went about breaking them! I love that he showed - not just told, but SHOWED - how the rules were not only unhelpful, they weren't even in accordance with the scriptures they were supposedly founded upon.

I first printed off and pasted that passage in my journal over a year ago. I've been thinking on it for a while now, and there are still new things when I read it again. I love that story. My favorite part is when the madman is clothed (having been naked) and restored, sitting calmly, conversing with Jesus. I see that image in my head and the word DIGNITY comes to mind. What hope did he have if jesus hadn't come to him? There would have been no way he could have come anywhere near Jesus on his own - the dividing walls were just too big. Jesus had to make the first move for someone in his circumstances.

Jesus came, defying all logic and reason. He came to the man living in the tombs, and he comes to us.

oceans of irony

ever had one of those moments where you don't want to eavesdrop on someone, but its almost impossible NOT to? They're having a loud conversation in a quiet place, and you can't drown them out no matter how hard you try? And there's nowhere else to sit? You try to read your book, but you keep losing your place - you read the same page 16 times? ok.. so, you know what i mean..

I had one of those experiences recently. I really didn't want to overhear the conversation. What's worse is that it still hasn't left me... and its been over a week. So I'm going to blog about it and hope that it clears my thoughts...

A man and a woman, clearly from the same church and circle of friends, are talking while they wait for their respective children at an after school activity. We'll call them Fred and Betty. Fred is associated with law enforcement and the justice system somehow. (the irony of his involvement with anything called justice is nothing short of tragic....) Conversation starts out with Fred ridiculing the folks he works with, the ones he serves... the incarcerated criminal population. His tone is superior; seeping with condemnation and judgement. He refers to addictions, unhealthy patterns, family dynamics.. he says lots of things that might be factual. But the only thing I could hear was his 'if-only-everyone-was-like-me' attitude and the way he was empty of anything resembling compassion. (at least in this moment - I have no doubt Fred is a compassionate fellow at other times...)

He made 'us' seem like perfection served on wonder bread, while 'them' were seemingly undeserving of air to breathe. He clearly saw himself as successful, and therefore worthy; while the deadbeats he was talking about couldn't possibly attain this ideal; they're way too useless. In fact doing anything other than locking them up and ignoring them until they kill each other is a complete waste of time. (Its been a while but I think thats a direct quote.)

The whole while, Betty just clucked with understanding, her head bobbing up and down sympathetically. She threw in a few comments of her own, but she wasn't nearly as vile as Fred. She did liken a newcomer in her neighborhood to the subjects of Fred's distaste. Someone had the audacity to move in and sleep during the day while her kids played outside and were a menace to the community... you see, she was one of 'them', too. (My first thought was that perhaps the newcomer worked a night shift, and might need some support - but apparently this wasn't in the realm of possibilities for Betty.)

Need I mention that my blood was boiling? I would have said something, but I didn't trust myself to not spew some angry, teary insults of my own...

Fred and Betty's conversation continued, on a much lighter note after they had finished talking about the dregs of society..... now, they talked about their friends in common. Betty offered lots of helpful information about many people they both knew (read: gossip). Many of the people in their circle were described as struggling. I (and several other people in the room!) were treated to loads of personal information about broken marriages, teens battling drug addictions, people hospitalized for overdosing on performance enhancing drugs, extramarital affairs, and even a friend who couldn't get her eating disorder back under control. It was sad to hear about how much pain and hurt existed among Fred and Betty's shared friends.

It was even sadder how the two of them could find no commonality in the brokenness of the all people - some people received judgement and condemnation, others were good fodder for the gossip session. But no one warranted a single compassionate word.

There was something sickeningly absent from the entire conversation. Love.

I was desperately searching for it and I couldn't find a shred of it. Not in words, posture, tone, subtle hints... nada. Sad.

Did I mention that Fred and Betty are members of the same church? yeah. They go to this place where people worship and adore the God who said something about being love and having followers who would be known for their love.

yeah. no wonder I've been haunted by this conversation all week, hey?

Did I mention irony?

returning passion

In a message I heard recently, someone said that 'the passion anyone has for Christ is directly proportionate to their experience of Christ'.

Isn't that a great statement? Its basic, yet still profound when stated so succintly.

Here's the cool thing.. I've had some really amazing, life changing encounters with a god who is alive (not dead, not ancient, not historical) and who guides, who is present and faithful, whose voice I recognize often. Isn't that great? Whats more is that if it weren't for those encounters, I'd have given up on faith a long time ago. I'm not strong enough, or disciplined enough.. I'm too much of a screw up to hold it together. But somehow that didn't factor in to the equation or limit opportunities (I'm sure I missed alot of them along the way, too) to have these memorable encounters.

But it doesn't stop there... as I read the recorded stories about Christ, I realize that I've only experienced a smidgen of all that he is. I've got a lifetime to continue to experience all sorts of new things with him and because of him. That's even more great!

I don't know if its coming through in this blog or not, but some passion that was dormant for a while is returning. Have you ever gone on a hike and emerged into a clearing, only to realize that you'd been in that place before, that it wasn't new after all? That is what I've been feeling like these last couple of weeks... returning to the familiar.

I wish and pray this sense of optimism and hope for each of you ...

shared life

Tonight, I had a great date with a great friend. We met while we both lived in Saskatchewan, but we now both find ourselves in Winnipeg and it is great!


Our friendship deepened quickly as a result of a seminary assignment I had early in our time of knowing one another- I needed to write about 'spiritual conversations' and chronicle the experience from several different perspectives. She agreed to be the conversation partner, and a unique relationship developed and has blossomed fruitfully - in both of our lives - in the time since.


This evening's conversation was rich in talk about grace and perspective. I was reminded of the opening thoughts in a book I have yet to finish reading. It's called 'Exiles - Living Missionally in a Post Christian Culture', authored by Michael Frost. He opens the book with reference to his 'pointed critique' of the church in places like Canada and the US. He says that some read his work and celebrate it as prophetic, while others call him a church basher. He claims that neither is true; and quotes another author... "It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half wit remains a half wit and the emperor remains an emperor." Perhaps he is saying that pointing things out is only helpful if its attached to something meatier, more substantial. And, for his purposes, if it's also wrapped in love and commitment. (Here, he quotes Ephesians 4:15, which encourages us to speak the truth in love.)


That was part of our conversation; this mysterious thing called grace in our day to day lives. As our understanding of it increases, it is usually preceded by some difficulty - perhaps failure, perhaps suffering. These experiences 'thicken the narrative' of our lives, enrich us and deepen us. (this is a thought from one of my counselling profs...) The most memorable part of our conversation (for me, anyway) came from my friend's discussion of what she's been learning about grace. I'll quote her...

"So often we say that people need to be more loving, but we ourselves fail to show love. Or we say that the church needs to be more forgiving, but we ourselves fail to offer forgiveness. Or we talk about a family that should be more gracious, but we ourselves don't extend grace. I'm just trying to be the one who shows love, offers forgiveness, extends grace."

I guess I'm kinda wondering if she has nailed down some 'substance' we might add to what Frost calls 'pointed critique.' I'm kinda wondering if somehow this is a way to speak the truth in love like Paul is talking about.

Incidentally, we got together to play Canasta - I'm sure glad we didn't, I think I needed this conversation more. But next time we're together, we will play. And I will win.

thoughts about courage

This article about Jimmy Carter was rolling around in my thoughts for a few days last week. It refers to Jimmy's public decision to separate himself from the denomination he was associated with in order to support a position that he has decided is 'bigger' than this affiliation. It quotes from a letter he wrote explaining his decision.

I read the article, and was surprised by what stayed with me. (you should too if this post is going to make any sense to you, and while you're at it, you could get more details about the Elders and a variety of interesting (mostly female) perspectives here.)

.... What stayed with me wasn't the emphasis on women's issues, although that is an important topic. I was interested in the idea that our treatment of women in the North American church is at all tied to how women are treated in other contexts all over the globe. This is a valid connection that I want to think and learn more about.

.... Nor was it the fact that I completely identified with Jimmy's position about the questionable conclusions in scripture about female roles:

"The carefully selected verses found in the Holy Scriptures to justify

the superiority of men owe more to time and place -

and the determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence -

than eternal truths. Similar biblical excerpts could be found to

support the approval of slavery and the timid acquiescence

to oppressive rulers."

I hear shades of many conversations I've had in that excerpt! I also hear shades the oft-quoted Rich Mullins:

"You guys are all into that born again thing,

which is great. We do need to be born again,

since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus.

But if you tell me I have to be born again to

enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you just have to sell

everything you have and give it to the poor,

because Jesus said that to one guy too…

[And he paused in the awkward silence.]

But I guess that’s why God invented highlighters,

so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."

... It also wasn't because I learned about the Elders, which seems like a grand idea. What a concept.. using one's influence to ... INFLUENCE!

No, what ended up staying with me was appreciation for Jimmy's courage. Dare I say that he had bal... okay, I won't finish that statement, it might be crude. (and I'm NEVER crude.)

At the end of the day, he had the courage to stand up for something that he believed was important.
He had the courage to separate himself - generously, graciously, kindly, but also assertively and with authenticity - from something that he believed was more harmful than helpful. He didn't slink away quietly and retreat until everything blew over. He didn't gloss over the truth of why he was reconsidering his alignment. He was just plain courageous. He was just plain honest.

Maybe we should be asking why that is so very inspiring and refreshing.....

Engaging

Both in online and in person conversation lately, the subjects of the emerging church, tradition, social justice, and unity/disunity have come up quite often. Surprisingly so and in interesting combinations. Here are a few links to check out if you're interested in this discussion.

Lisa posted this link on Facebook today. The post talks about how we can veer too far in the direction of either engagement with or devotion to Jesus, at the exclusion of the other. Interesting thoughts.

Jamie's blog featured this post about the new 'Jesus manifesto' (Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola)a couple of weeks ago.. he also linked to an interesting response to Sweet and Viola's manifesto.

I'm interested in this dialogue. I'm learning as I read scripture, talk to friends, read others' thoughts, and just ponder it all.

One of my 'responses' came from some extended time spent journalling while on holidays last week. I really enjoyed leafing through some old magazines, collecting images that 'spoke'. The result was a prayer collage of pictures, quotes, and stories that remind me of some important things, like:
-the world is so much bigger than what I can know or see
-eternity is unfathomable
-one size doesn't fit all (nor does one expression of love)
-the church is always engaged in mild, moderate, or extensive reformation
-beauty always exists, hope does prevail (even though broken community and injustice are so painfully real... and excruciatingly necessary)

For tonight, I'm encouraged about the 'engaging' I've noticed..
I'm encouraged about the passion I've heard.
I'm encouraged about how much emphasis there is on love.
I'm encouraged by genuine devotion to Jesus.

"May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else..." From 1 Thessalonians 3

(wow.. this is two posts in one day... don't miss our holiday pictures below!)

Be Reconciled

The Statue of Reconciliation - Coventry Cathedral

.. Christ’s love controls us.Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

from 2 Corinthians 5

Last week, on Thursday, I attended my first seminary chapel. The text above provided our topic - Reconciliation. It was a memorable message.

The speaker was passionate about the gospel being a gospel of reconciliation. First between people and God, and then between individuals. He had an emphatic way of speaking; every few sentences punctuated with a reminder to BE RECONCILED!

I'll try to summarize some of his thoughts here, although of course my 'interpretation' is factored in. I heard this message as we all hear things - with most of my 'hearing' filtered as a result of things I've learned, my experiences, what I believe, value.... isn't that always how we all interpret? Each person's lens is unique, and it affects how and what we hear - whether in face to face conversation, hearing a message in chapel, or reading scripture. There is not only one way to understand most things, for example, I'm thankful that David's prayers were recorded all those years ago to comfort and encourage us today... I'm so glad those recorded intimacies have gone on to bear fruit and sow seeds of faith over and over and over.

It is also true that we need to not only internalize, but also externalize. Anytime I share my understanding of a thing with others, I learn more and the result is an 'enhanced' version of what I had concluded on my own. (See how I can work my value of community into everything?!) We need each other!

Anyway, back to the message of reconciliation. The speaker started off by referring to the God we worship - the God of reconciliation. The One who initiated reconciliation. The One who had a plan from the very beginning to facilitate a reconciled people - to Himself and amongst themselves. That sunk deep into my heart as I contemplated it. Reconciliation is not only possible - its happening - everywhere. Are you working towards it or against it? Opportunities for reconciliation are everywhere, daily... they have been woven by the Spirit into the fabric of our relationships, our days, our rhythms, our churches. He said that the reconciliation message was TRUE, even though its not always APPARENT. (That fits much some of what I've seen - how about you?)

After spending some time talking about the gospel of reconciliation as it pertains to individuals, he broadened it and spoke about the message of reconciliation as it relates to the community. (Again, the emphatic statement; BE RECONCILED!) He shared some struggles with lack of reconciliation and how the body suffers as much as the individual when this is the reality. For me sitting there, the sense of the importance of reconciliation grew as I listened... then another emphatic statement from our charismatic speaker; WAKE UP CHURCH! I was jarred by this. Have I been asleep in the light? Have we been asleep in the light?

He closed by saying that perhaps we don't really know how to live as reconciled people. We aren't really committed to embracing it - how can we be ambassadors for it? And how can that honor the God of Reconciliation?

Here is the hope he offered: the more we are reconciled, the more we practice reconciliation, the greater will be our burden and desire for reconciliation in all the places we go. The evidence and practice of reconciliation will be greater and deeper in our communities. Be assured that the Lord of Reconciliation will put to good use those who 'get' this. (Sadly, the reverse is true, too - the more we resist reconciliation, the more we will continue to resist it.)

The thing that is most prevalent in my mind as I write this is the debate I've heard whispers of in the larger church - emerging thoughts/concepts vs. maintaining traditional expressions. My prayer is that we would all appreciate the beauty and diversity of other expressions of faith, realizing that one creative God made all of us, and He clearly loves diversity! Shouldn't we?

I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters,by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. For some members of Chloe’s household have told me about your quarrels, my dear brothers and sisters. Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter,” or “I follow only Christ.”
Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not!

From 1 Corinthians 1

community

What follows are some excerpts from a post of Jamie's, found here in full. (he's referring to his inner city context of planting a missional church) He says a few things that resonate deeply with where I am right now, especially in terms of church. I haven't been engaging of late with the larger church family we're part of. It's a season of evaluating what I really believe; sort of like looking at all the pieces of a broken puzzle and putting them back together. That's where I am... looking at all the pieces and wondering how to fit them back in place. I absolutely know they do fit together; there just are some things I believed that I'm wondering how to fit back into place. In the meantime, I'm so thankful to be experiencing amazing 'church' community and family outside of the 'traditional' context.

________________________________________________

The Community Longing To Be The Church

Let me introduce you to The Community Longing To Be The Church.
There are many of us, but too often we feel very much alone. We are community because we are all too aware of our need for others and for God. We are a community that prefers walking together, even in our brokenness, than being alone in a pretense of togetherness. We are united by relationship and longing, not achievement or strength.
For us, generosity is a matter of survival, for without each other, many of us would go hungry. We try to give what we have to each other, though our selfish nature regularly rears its head in very “reasonable” rationalization. We offer hospitality, opening our homes and lives to welcome the other, though we don’t always like the smells and we too often keep a hand guardedly on our stuff. But we try and we are blessed and humbled in the process.

We are The Community Longing To Be The Church.
Our success is measured by our faithfulness to God, each other our neighbours and (when we find the time) Creation- which is a stretch in the midst of busy lives and broken relationships. We celebrate even the smallest triumphs of life and faith, because the small victories are all we can hope for at the moment. We’ll leave the revolution to the better equipped.
We are ruthlessly committed to people over programs, and since the latter generally requires money (of which we have little), that is probably a good thing. We cooperate and co-create, trying to resist the impulse to let “the leaders” do it all. Sometimes we are even successful in said resistance. We know what is ideal, but need to want it enough to pay the price.

We are The Community Longing To Be The Church.
Each among us wants to lead, but most of like the authority more than the responsibility. We believe that everyone has something valuable to bring, so we work hard to embrace and celebrate each person. We are tested in this by the idiocy, immaturity and inexplicable behaviour that everyone displays at one time or another. We believe we will find Christ in them, but it is very hard to do at times- as hard as others seeing Him in us. We learn to live with the contradictions and inconsistencies among us, not out of defeat or lack of caring, but out a realism born of experience.
We find in those difference, instead of division, the seeds of learning, humility and love, even when born out of conflict among us. His grace is ever needed as we seek to come together in His image.

We are The Community Longing To Be The Church.

We live in the paradox of longing to become while already being. We are the Church. We are the Body. And yet we are so far from it. In this tension- in our sin and selfishness- we discover our desperate need for God and even, often grudgingly, for each other. We love God with all our hearts, but those hearts are divided. So we come together, through His Spirit to seek the love of the Father as we seek to become more like the Son. And we see that this is achieved in the chaos and brokenness of the Cross. Our hope is that, as we are poured out by and for Him, we can become the community He has created us to be. It is here that we discover the deeper truth:

We are The Community Longing To Become Christ.

Thanks, Jamie - Its amazing how you can write something from your experience and context, and it can connect so well with someone else's situation.

experiencing Jesus

Have you met Christ in your interactions with others? Recently, I've met him repeatedly, and I'm so thankful for the gift. I'll share a few of these meetings with you - hoping to use story to point heavenward. I'm not the author of these little interactions, I'm just the grateful recipient.

Sometime in February, I met with an old friend who I'd heard was having a rough time. I really wanted to comfort and encourage her - I sought her out to bless her and pray with her. When we got together, it turned out that she was the one encouraging me. I saw Jesus in her eyes, they were broken and sad, and FULL of grace - then I heard a message from Him that my friend couldn't have known I was needing to hear. It was so surprising and unexpected.

Another time, a friend at work came to my office and prayed with me, without even talking too much before asking if we could pray together. The week before, we had talked about something difficult in her life, and I had been thinking of her often. As we were about to bow our heads, she looked into my eyes - and again - spoke words that would have been completely unknown to her as being the right ones. It was like Jesus was the one offering reassurance. Also, again - completely unexpected.

There have been so many inspiring moments with the Praying Ladies, I cannot pin down only one. One of the ladies often brings specific verses for the other two. Several times, the verse chosen has been unique or special already.. and the selection and reading of it by a caring friend just increases the significance.

During the service we attended as part of the Wpg. Missions Trip, a lovely woman from the congregation came to me during the worship time and said that she felt stirred to pray for me. She put her hand on my arm - it was such a warm and kind thing to do - and prayed words that were general, but I made them 'specific' in my own heart as I prayed with her. It was like Jesus had stood there with me, and the first few moments after she walked away felt strangely empty and cold. The answers to that prayer were evident within a few days.

At my sister Lorrie's place, she was sorting through some paperwork during my visit, and a little quote she had cut out weeks before fell from the papers. She felt it was meant for me. She took the liberty of rifling through my bag - knowing there would be some kind of journal in there - and pasted the verse in. A few days later, I was sitting on my bed - opened up the journal and was momentarily paralysed by the words I found there. Again.. she had no idea of the timing, but it was exactly right.

Other friends have asked extremely insightful questions, or made comments that re-direct my thinking. They cause me to look within and learn, and to know Jesus better through their stories and experiences.

Just tonight, a young woman who has been staying with us came into my room, where I was reading - (withdrawing?) - and shared some observations about the state of affairs in our home. She said that she feels welcome, but also feels like she is hurting and grieving with us, because there is a very heavy feeling in our home. Her words made me so sad, and I wished that we were offering her the jovial and fun house we often have, wished that her time with us could be different and lighter. This is the second conversation we've had in as many days where my tears just spring up without any warning- and they don't hinder or alter the conversation - they just flow. She said, simply, that these circumstances are "real - and thats okay." Her observations felt like something Jesus among us might say or do- simply reminding me where to focus and how to "be" with him. Not making demands about "doing," but reminding me of the blessing and responses to life that should come from simply "being" with him.

The lesson is that Jesus is everywhere - all the time, but never is it more evident than when we are at a place of broken-ness. And when two people in that place come together and look for encouragement, Jesus meets that and fills the space between them with himself. The other lesson is that these interactions happen between people who are just true and just honest. The is absolutely no pretense or falseness. That is when Jesus is fully, powerfully present, when there is no hypocrisy at all. There is so much in me that wants to fight that low and vulnerable place, that wants to protect myself from both getting there in the first place, and then from allowing anyone to see me there or know that I'm there. Why do we always want to put on the act of self sufficiency? We might be fooling men, but we're not fooling God - and we are discouraging his presence and guidance when we take on that independent "I can do it myself!" stance.

We can be so foolish. And living in the Kingdom of God is so very, very different from what we see in the world around us.

Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” John 11:40

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” John 3:3

Jesus felt sorry for them and touched their eyes. Instantly they could see! Then they followed him. Matthew 20:34

randoms...

Owen sits beside me trying to come up with a speech he was supposed to have written and delivered sometime last week. And I'm monitoring the progress to make sure it gets done once and for all. So far we've started four different topics. I have to sit by him to make sure he works. While I do so, I wonder if he will ever be able to keep a job. I actually just told him that if he ever wants to live outside of our house and make a living on his own, it will require him to do such distasteful things as making speeches and holding down a job - perhaps even simultaneously. He thinks he will quit school at age 16 and join a famous rock band.
Yeah, okay.

So, some random thoughts..

to entertain you.. or to waste time..

not sure which. :)

This is my niece, Haily. She is almost a year old. I am really missing watching her grow up! I was supposed to be a labor coach for her birth last year, but it didn't work out - it was quite sad about that. I think karen should have her birthday party when we're in Winnipeg at Easter. She finally sent some pics over, and both O and I are more convinced than ever that she looks like our grandpa, Pepere Legault. In a very cute and feminine way !! And she walks - Ever since 10 months, toddling around - so cute. I actually took a video of it a couple of weeks ago. And she is so happy. As a newborn, she had this beautiful serenity about her. I'm looking forward to seeing how she grows up and whether this peacefulness stays with her.

• Jess and I are facilitating an adult Sunday School class about spiritual maturity. She has blogged about it already and pretty much captured all that I'd have said. Check her post out here. I was also dwelling on the way that spiritual growth happens as our dependence (on God) increases, while other growth usually emphasizes independence increasing. (think of children becoming adolescents becoming young adults -- or think of apprentices becoming craftspersons; they're increasingly self reliant and that is the evidence of growth.) The other think I've been thinking on is speaking the truth in love. That was the passage we focused on a bit this past Sunday; Ephesians 4. I did a little reading on these verses, where the Jesus Followers in Ephesus are told to grow up. One commentator used the word 'truthing' to describe speaking the truth in love. He said its so much more than a few words emerging from the mouth of one person to another.. he said that speaking the truth in love is more like a truth-FULL existence where integrity and authenticity are of importance to all in community. Where avoidance or fear have no place and LOVE is the real emphasis in all interactions and relationships. Where people can receive and deliver all manner of lovingly said words without defense or arrogance. I liked that verb - TRUTHING.

• Paul W. blogged about church - emphasizing the revelation of God in community that happens when we gather. I agree with that in principle, but I'm not sure how much corporate revelation I've actually experienced. My experience is that I gain insight from any message or teaching - it needn't be in church. Usually though, I do learn something from the speaker or pastor in church - is my personal learning revelation because others are present in the room? Or is community revelation more like what happens once the ideas can get unpacked with others in discussion- with family over lunch after church, with small group meeting later in the week.? I'm interested in this corporate revelation idea. Reading from the Scripture, dramas - these are all opportunities for divine things to be revealed, but we're each internalizing and processing on our own ... and probably differently from eachother. I wonder whether an emphasis on the prophetic is required to really grasp this idea of corporate revelation. I haven't been to that many services where this is given space, perhaps thats why I'm asking questions... (at the winnipeg centre vineyard in january, there was this invitation to come forward at the end of the service to learn more about prophecy and prophetic gifts. I was excited to learn more, but then the pastor said that they had run out of time and would have that group time the following week. I was sad!)
• People are praying for our family - we know this and are so, so, so grateful. Thank you. We are humbled by your care for us. I know its a random thanks, but many friends check out this blog and we just want you to know how appreciated you are.
• O and I are almost done the speech. And we've shared a fruit and nut bar. .. or as he calls it fruity nuts. My son makes me laugh. Actually tonight, he was speaking in his I'm-from-India voice and he made me spew tea (a london fog, actually) back into the cup (instead of choking on it while laughing). He is quite a funny boy. As I've typed this blog, he has given me some blogging advice - essentially that i should stop writing about unfunny crap like what I usually write about and focus only on humorous content. I think he should have a blog... I'd read it!

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing ... Mark Twain

Leadership Junkie

I've been reflecting on the Hybel-ism "The local church is the hope of the world..." lately. Do you know the rest of that statement? .... "and the future rests primarily in the hands of its leaders."




Here are some insights from the most recent Leadership Summit last August. Today, I felt compelled to review some notes. (The workshop notes are still in my bag, 6 months later!)

"In other eras, the Jesus people were the inspiring, the dogged, the courageous, the unashamed. Now were mediocre, un-excellent, and unaccountable." (“LOVING” and “GRACIOUS” are words we use to ease any recognition of our lack of effectiveness)

"We’ve spiritualized mediocrity. We aren’t loving well and we’re not extending grace, we’re not trusting God to be sovereign, at work, and leading. We apply the label of 'faith-led' selectively to some of our circumstances but not all. We convince ourselves that circumstances are godly when they’re shallow and hollow. This is part of a very large problem."

"It matters!!! Be excellent, rigorous, effective, and accountable."

"Something is wrong if Christ’s yoke is light, but mine is heavy."

"God, rescue us from all things PETTY. "

Thoughts? Many of these quotes are from the second session, with Gary Haugen of IJM. Wow. He was inspiring. And courageous. In one 30 minute session, we were left with a beautiful impression of a person who leads entirely for the Kingdom ... and bears fruit. Wow.

But the Lord is in his holy Temple;

the Lord still rules from heaven.

He watches everyone closely,

examining every person on earth.

Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked.

He hates those who love violence.

He will rain down blazing coals and burning sulfur on the wicked,

punishing them with scorching winds.

For the righteous Lord loves justice.

The virtuous will see his face.

from psalm 11

Team Winnipeg Update #1

Hey Everyone;
Thanks for checking in to see what we're up to. I've asked two members of Team Winnipeg to share a few thoughts of the trip so far...

hey its Aleah, i am really enjoying my experience here in Winnipeg. This is my home city so it has been really great to see another side of Winnipeg even though it is a very broken part of it. But I also feel that there is a sense of hope and it is great to see the way that God is working in this place. I am a bit nervous and excited about the things that God is going to do with our team on this trip if we have ears to listen. Please keep us in your prayers.

Yo it's Chris, what to say about Winnipeg? Well so far it's been a real eye opening experience. There is so much that i did not know about inner city communities and poverty. There is so much history in an inner city community about how they came to be filled with poverty and why they are the way they are. It was interesting to go on a tour of the north end of Winnipeg and have Harvey tell us the history of it. Another thing that this trip has been showing me and a lot of the rest of the team is how the church is doing stuff in the inner cities, but there are so many churches that are just standing by and doing nothing or very little. That is very sad to see and most of us on the team feel it needs to be changed. It's only been less than 2 days and we have grown so much as a team and have learnt so much. I'm excited to see what is going to happen in the rest of the week.

Of course.. I have to add my 2c....
I'm writing this from the office of one of the Vineyard Pastors. He happened to pop into the kitchen as we were preparing our lunch. He asked us what the rest of the day holds... we told him we're making our lunch, and a few extra sandwiches to go and deliver to some of the folks in the neighborhood around us.
In a very gentle way, he reminded us that there is less dignity in delivering sandwiches than there would be in, say... sharing lunch with someone. After chatting with him for a second, I aske the team how we could change our plans to respond better to the community around us... we envisioned ourselves sharing a sandwich in the freezing cold with someone, and realized that offering a warm and cozy place might be an even better response. So, we're reorganizing our plans, and three of us are just going to go walking and see who we can invite for lunch back at the Vineyard.

I think the way the pastor we spoke to put it was something like this: always remember to look for the hidden beauty in the 'poor' --- and while you're at it, don't forget about the hidden brokenness in the 'rich'....

We're two days in and we have already made many connections (with people and in our own minds). We are on a beautiful journey.. thanks for your prayers. We have already learned much about the three things we're trying to explore on this trip:

• Hope
• Poverty
• Relationships

Until next time...
Kelly, for the team

Show all

Spilling over

In researching and reading many wonderful books, I ask myself some questions.. like:

1. Why must I work? Why can't I just read and study and learn and be inspired?


2. How did these people get so smart?


3. and other questions like that. I also get distracted with coffee, facebook, snacks, many things.

So, I will inspire (bore?) (annoy?) (challenge?) you with some of the quotes I'm reading, because staying on track and just studying is so very difficult for me.

Peter Toon, in a book called God's Kingdom for Today: "When we ask ourselves 'how do we love ourselves', the answer, if we are honest, must be that we love ourselves selfishly. We are sinners, and we tend always to think of ourselves first. Therefore, since Jesus knew that our hearts are imperfect, he made clear the meaning of loving others by giving it definite content. After washing the sweaty feet of his disciples, he said "a new commandment I give to you, love one another'.. Later that day, Jesus referred to himself as the 'true Vine' to whom his disciples are united. He said, love one another as I have loved you. So, to love the neighbor is to imitate Christ; it is to love as he loved."

Have you ever known someone who somehow believed in you more than you could ever believe in yourself? The unwavering confidence of Jesus Christ in the church over the centuries is staggering - and its not because the church has earned it. - from The Magnificent Obsession, Swartz

The kingdom of God aches for courageous people who are willing to treat the wounds within the church.... more from Swartz.