Our friendship deepened quickly as a result of a seminary assignment I had early in our time of knowing one another- I needed to write about 'spiritual conversations' and chronicle the experience from several different perspectives. She agreed to be the conversation partner, and a unique relationship developed and has blossomed fruitfully - in both of our lives - in the time since.
This evening's conversation was rich in talk about grace and perspective. I was reminded of the opening thoughts in a book I have yet to finish reading. It's called 'Exiles - Living Missionally in a Post Christian Culture', authored by Michael Frost. He opens the book with reference to his 'pointed critique' of the church in places like Canada and the US. He says that some read his work and celebrate it as prophetic, while others call him a church basher. He claims that neither is true; and quotes another author... "It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half wit remains a half wit and the emperor remains an emperor." Perhaps he is saying that pointing things out is only helpful if its attached to something meatier, more substantial. And, for his purposes, if it's also wrapped in love and commitment. (Here, he quotes Ephesians 4:15, which encourages us to speak the truth in love.)
That was part of our conversation; this mysterious thing called grace in our day to day lives. As our understanding of it increases, it is usually preceded by some difficulty - perhaps failure, perhaps suffering. These experiences 'thicken the narrative' of our lives, enrich us and deepen us. (this is a thought from one of my counselling profs...) The most memorable part of our conversation (for me, anyway) came from my friend's discussion of what she's been learning about grace. I'll quote her...
"So often we say that people need to be more loving, but we ourselves fail to show love. Or we say that the church needs to be more forgiving, but we ourselves fail to offer forgiveness. Or we talk about a family that should be more gracious, but we ourselves don't extend grace. I'm just trying to be the one who shows love, offers forgiveness, extends grace."
I guess I'm kinda wondering if she has nailed down some 'substance' we might add to what Frost calls 'pointed critique.' I'm kinda wondering if somehow this is a way to speak the truth in love like Paul is talking about.
Incidentally, we got together to play Canasta - I'm sure glad we didn't, I think I needed this conversation more. But next time we're together, we will play. And I will win.
You will not win, my friend!! I didn't think I was quite that eloquent when we talked, but thanks for making me sound so. It's, again, a good reminder of what I strive to be... and have not nearly attained..
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