Handles

    You know what I mean by handles, right?  I don't actually mean the literal handles like the ones we open doors or flush toilets with... I mean metaphorical handles that help us understand stuff thats going on in our lives.

Like, when we are seeking clarity or understanding as we communicate with a friend... we ask questions in order to 'get a handle' on the matter.

Or, if we are trying to make sense of circumstances that confound us, sometimes we need to break things down to whatever things we can make the most sense of, or 'get a handle on'.

I have a few 'handles' that have been helpful lately.  Today, I'm listing them here for your reading enjoyment...maybe you'll adopt a new handle!

• pipes and water.  This handle came from a conversation with my friend and pastor, Bruce.  It helps me in my constant struggle with structured vs. unstructured.  (or porous vs rigid, loose vs tight, flowy vs. controlled...)  Think about the water and pipes going to and fro from source to tap.  Water is free and unconstrained.  It moves wherever it wants, isn't obedient or conforming.  Water is flowy and uncontrolled, open to whatever opportunity might present itself.  It can change course without much thought; where it went yesterday has no bearing on today!  Pipes, on the other hand, they restrain and restrict water.  They direct it and help it to not make a mess or overflow in undesirable ways.  They carry it to where it needs to go.  The reason that this handle so helpful is that it reminds me that both pipes and water are necessary, and that they need eachother.  Pipes are silly if there is not water to deliver, but water without pipes can be unattainable mess.  The 'pipes vs. water' handle is a good one for me as I look for balance in my mind and in my life.

• vulnerability as path.  This handle comes from life in community and also from seminary classes.   It seems like a willingness to be vulnerable, to put ourselves out there, leads to freedom, trust and depth in communication.  I feel like I have repeatedly seen this evidenced in my own relationships and in others around me.  Vulnerability is often feared, and the cost of obeying that fear is high. I've written before about speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4) as growth and maturity.  A certain commentary talks about a life of truthing - which is impossible without vulnerability and the inevitable blows we'll suffer because we've allowed it instead of fearing it.  Now, when I am in the midst of a conversation where I can be more honest or less, I think of my new handle of vulnerability as path and choose the path accordingly...
• stackable losses.  This handle on grieving has helped me so much in the last couple of months!  I talked enough about it before, so I wont go into that again.  Envisioning losses piled up on top of each other is a great handle on understanding stress.
• deleting files.  You know how you can go into your email program, and go to the deleted folder, and there is a command there that allows you to delete all the mail in there at once?  OR, you can select the files you want to save, but delete the rest?  I think deleting files is a great handle on what needs to happen in our mental filing cabinet every once in a while.  There could be some unmet expectations filed away that are causing havoc just because they haven't been deleted.  There could be unresolved grudges or hurts that hang around and unwittingly affect new opportunities and relationships .. all we have to do is take a look and see that certain files we forgot about are still hanging around - then decide if we actually want to keep them.  Recently, I went through a mental file about 'what I thought it would look like to be a long term Flatlander' and deleted all sorts of crap - but I held on to a few key non negotiables, and starred /flagged those files so I remember to review them even more often!
• christian imagination.  This is a handle i've been using for a while to think about all sorts of ideas.  I resent modernity for reducing our faith to the least mysterious and most scientific explanation!  When I consider the layers of meaning in the scriptures, the stories of Jesus, even faith itself, I employ this handle to open things up, not wrap them up in a manageable package.

But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knitted together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.   Eph. 4