Narrative

Some themes just pop up over and over it seems.

'Narrative' is one. Sometimes i hear about it in the theology context, reclaiming the whole redemption story as just that.. a story...

sometimes in the therapeutic setting, where we practitioners are supposed to be skilled and curious conversationalists.

I am excited to be learning narrative therapy! I read about narrative all over the place.

Here is a new blog I found today, so I linked it to the blogroll on the left. The linked post is about narrative practice.

enjoy.

advent thoughts

for advent, I've been contemplating Isaiah 30. I was looking and reflecting in November for something to focus on for advent and this passage felt like the place to park for a while. Some other Flatlanders have been trying to read this chapter, too. On sunday night, a few of us lit some candles and went around in a circle reading sections, then we talked about it together.

Two other advent thoughts that have really been meaningful this season;

• the various ways and contexts in which people have sung, prayed, or even cried out: "Come, Lord Jesus". When I think it, pray it, or sing it, I see images - faces, stories - from the last few months and it means something totally new. And I FEEL these words so much more than I ever have.
• Expectancy. Sometimes it is celebratory and almost carefree to wait upon the Lord. We are full of trust and hope. Sometimes, it feels like 'lament' is all we know. We remember the hope, but can't regain it. Expectancy.

Here are a couple of verses from Isaiah 30 .... (NRSV)

"For they are rebellious people, faithless children, children who will not hear the instruction of the Lord; who say to the seers, "Do not see", and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us what is right; speak to us smooth things, prophecy illusions, leave the way, turn aside from the path, let us hear no more about the Holy One of Israel."

....

"For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength. But you refused and said, 'No, we must flee upon horses.'

...

'Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therfore he will rise up to show mercy to you. for the Lord is a God of Justice; Blessed are those who wait for him.'

...

What is meaningful for YOU this advent season? What new things are you learning about waiting.. arriving.. expecting.. hoping... Emmanuel?

The Ethic of Dishes

Class last week was about Counselling Ethics. Amid studying counselling contracts and various associations' codes of ethics, we also centred our time each day around the 'Ethics of the Kingdom.' (It's good to be in a counselling program at a seminary!) This was accomplished by spending 60-90 minutes reflecting on the Sermon on the Mount - individually and in groups. It was a wonderful exercise, and I know it'll help me in practice far more than the many case studies about all the creative ways clients might someday find to sue me.

In our discussions, we referred often to 'a righteousness that surpasses that of the Pharisees.' (Matthew 5:20) We kept going back to it as we realized that in our future work - as in life - it all centers around something more than adherence to rules. (or codes of ethics) Those rules/codes are important, (not abolished) - but if thats all there is, then there is very little indeed.

This post could be about the theological insights and counselling application found in the Sermon on the Mount; but instead, its about an issue of communal living that tops the list of things that irritate people.

Do dishes in your house pile up? They do here. Not every day, but some days, everyone just takes a stance of 'I didn't use it; I'm not washing it!' - it has actually happened that everyone goes on strike until all the dishes are dirty. You think I'm kidding. Not so.

It is easy to think that all we need is to apply rules.

Rule #1: If you use a dish, wash it.

thats basic, right? Should make everything go swimmingly, if only everyone would JUST DO IT!!

But then, what about the dryer rack of clean dishes that need to be sanitized? (We have commercial sanitizers, not dishwashers, in both kitchens)

Rule #2: If you put the dish into the rack that makes it 'full', load them all into the sanitizer.

But, what about when the sanitizer is finished the cycle? Whose 'job' is it to put those steaming hot dishes away?

Rule #3: Wait for the sanitizer to be done and then put them away.

But what about when I've done it the last 10 times and all anyone ever seems to do is wash their one dish?

Rule #4: Talk about sharing the load with others. Ask for help if no offers are forthcoming.

But what about ....

Its ridiculous how long that list could get, and its just about DISHES, for goodness sake?

And we didn't even mention so many other situation arising from the task of dishes; what about when a dish wasn't specifically used by you, or when everyone is sharing the leftovers from last night's supper and no one feels like the utensils, pots, and bowl are 'their' dish? And what about cleaning out the sink, especially the gungy stuff that collects around the drain? Should we parcel that out as a special role too? Maybe we could make a rule about how much grubby stuff should be left on your plate after eating, so that not too much of same grubby stuff ends up clogging the drain. And what about the crumbs and spills on the counter? Everyone claims that its not their mess, so it can sit there for a long time...

It can get complicated if we only have rules to tell us how to live together. And the thing about rules is that there are always exceptions. You're sick, you're busy, you've already fulfilled many obligations today... If all we have is rules, we may be able to create an illusion of community, but its superficial... hingeing on constant obedience or the next time someone breaks a rule.

Conversely, if we have no rules, chaos reigns.

So, what can we do?

This is where the ethic comes in.. the ethic of the dishes. (or the ethic of the kingdom :)

Notice those around you. They're blessed, they're loved. Pitch in! Be a light, don't add to the darkness. (or the messiness) Be an example. Don't just put up with people, go farther than that. And don't do any of this for your own exaltation; it's NOT about YOU! Be generous, this is holy. Overlook some things in order to see other things more clearly . Go on, it doesn't hurt!

One more class reflection. We read more from a man called Michael White, from Australia.

He speaks about the ethic of control vs. the ethic of collaboration. (specifically in the therapy setting)

But I think there is something unique about that that makes it applicable to far more...

With rules, we're seeking to create a controlled environment.

With something higher, different than rules, we're seeking to collaborate with the people and realities before us.

Michael White also links an emphasis on the ethic of control to burn out. Whereas an emphasis on the ethic of collaboration? Refreshment, a sense of purpose, an invitation...

Words

Do you love words? I adore words. I like words alone on a page, compiled in a story, spoken in prayer. I like words that build, words that describe, words that affirm. I think i especially like words that surprise. They're such useful things, words. Oh.. songs. words set to music. There are so many gifts to us through words and language, yes?

I am right now writing a paper on a fascinating book; Marva Dawn's 'Talking the Walk'. The reverse concept she's playing on with her title is of course Walking the Talk. I long for more rubber meeting road... more putting our money where our mouth is... Are you like me? - a little cynical of theory because of the absence of practice?

Marva's way of talking about the title and content of the book says this (among other things): 'during the last century, english speaking christians have been stressing that we should 'walk our talk'. -that our way of living should match the values that we espouse. That christians don't act on what they know and say is still a problem, for the passivity of wealthy societies keeps escalating.'

This wise author is a favorite of mine, and this isn't my first paper on one of her books. One of my great sadnesses is that I won't go to Regent and learn from her. Jess - are you taking anything from her?!

She says that she compiled the essays in this book because God is the point. Of Life. And somehow, using a language that isn't corrupted and stained, or made irrelevant, or overused and diluted, ... finding ways to redeem damage done - all this will help that fact (that God is the point) be better understood and more known.

She even refers to herself as a corrupter of God's name in the intro to the text. This resonates with where I dwell a lot these days:

"I corrupt God's name still more by forgetting that every person I encounter bears God's image, that how I treat the passers-by and wheelchair pushers and janitors and military guards ... will reflect that corruption if I don't pay attention."

This post isn't only about a great book I'm reading and writing about. Its also a confession.

I have not honored words well in many, many conversations. I have resisted (and it was deliberate!) conforming my language to the 'churchy' expectations I encountered after becoming part of the Christian subculture. I became part of this culture because of a choice to re-orient away from self and towards Christ. i soon realized that not only was I converted to Christ, but also to this whole new expectation of how I should act.. right down to how I said things!!. I've stubbornly (there, I said it!) tried to be converted only to Jesus... not something else. (I think I was shocked to discover that Jesus actually opposed legalism.. so I vowed to oppose it too!)

But, today, as I read Marva's beatiful treatise about words, about liturgy, about their POWER and BEAUTY... I was converted. I am repentant about the way my language may have been corrupted (by whats in me) and contributed to corrupt interpretations. (about God) (Those abound, don't they? I don't have to support them any more than I already do just because I'm stubborn!)

Marva Dawn quotes Confucius who wanted to 'rectify names' as an approach to leadership. Lets be people of our word. Lets say what we mean and mean what we say.. and do nothing that brings our word into question.

Also, lets realize the far reaching implications of our words.. a hebrew term for 'word' is also used for 'event' - our words are powerful behavior shapers! They really do become actions...

breaking in..

i don't know if it is the vineyard influence or the result of learning about kingdom from tim geddert a couple of years ago, but i have been thinking alot about this idea of 'in-breaking kingdom' lately.

One of the tensions we wrestle with is the reality of the kingdom God being here and now (present) and there and then (future). The here and now part can be evidenced in glorious moments when something supernatural breaks in and overshadows some set of circumstances. Sometimes, these little inbreakings are like a spiritual experience, where something happens that just isn't logical, predictable, or easily explainable.

I had one of those moments recently, and it felt kind of like the hallelujah chorus should be playing in the background. I thought a specific situation was one that I'd be wading through for a long time, something that I'd be wrestling through and processing for an extended period. And it was heavy, a real burden.

But it was healed, removed in an instant. A moment of significant clarity and a feeling of aha! broke in, and that particular circumstance is resolved; off the radar. No residual angst or wondering, just a profoundly real and yet very ordinary experience of the love of God.

This isn't always the way it works, it isn't always the way God works, but in this situation, it was. In this situation He fixed.

Hallelujah!

word of the year

Sometimes it seems like lessons in various life circumstances conspire to teach you something. I started noticing this pattern in my own life a couple of years ago, which coincided with a new job at the same time .. so I came up with a 'word of the year' concept and tried to be really intentional about letting an idea that 'found me' continue to shape and teach me things over a period of time. I tried to be intentional about letting it inform my actions ...

Two years ago, the word was CLARITY. Last year, the word was SUSTAIN. It's amazing to me how relevant those concepts have actually been, and how they've woven through every aspect of my life! Hindsight reveals much, hey?

I realized this week that in spite of new circumstances, a theme has once again found me. This year's word is TENSION.

I'm learning that I've never really been okay with tension. I'm not referring to conflict here, but the tension that simply exists in life. Tension like the evidence of joy amid suffering. Tension like realizing that we can be mature and foolish at the same time. Tension that comes from feeling despair and hope in the same moment. Tension that is like coexisting poles. I've always wanted to opt for one pole and correct the other to be more like the one I prefer.

During advent I want to explore this more; in fact I can't think of a more fitting time to consider this topic.

If you have a few minutes, check out this Stanley Hauerwas video.

http://www.theworkofthepeople.com/index.php?ct=store.details&pid=V00684

(thanks jeff!)

how about you? - what themes have found you at the right time in your life?

ramblings about communal living

its been a while since I blogged.  I don't have a computer right now, so I'm using my Twaddle account on the Flatlanders common Mac.  (I think Twaddle was a word invented by a former flatlander to describe what happens when we go onto the computer for fun.. we twaddle away time.)  We each have a one hour slot each day.  Owen has already been on mine, so this post may be cut short...  its amazing how much life changes when you are 'unplugged' for an extended period of time.  I actually kinda like it.  My school work pile just grows and grows, though; so December will be a heavy and pressure-filled month!

Lots of people ask us (and not only us, but all Flatlanders) a few questions pretty regularly.  They go something like this: 

How is it really?

What do you guys do all the time?

Here are some thoughts in response to those questions:

• community living, or just genuine community period - is HARD.  It's also tremendously GOOD.
• There is a rhythm to our days and weeks that includes worship, prayer, fun, food, sharing responsibilities, talking about deep things, and just hanging out.  Amid the rhythm are things that pop up that we need to respond to.  The response-requiring things are often challenging, and each member of the community responds a bit differently.  Flexibility and self awareness are so important, as are an appreciation for diverse characteristics and a teachable, open spirit.  When these traits are absent, we all suffer.
• Addiction will rule the roost unless we're really intentional about how we respond to its presence among us.
• Acceptance of, and even appreciation for tension are required daily.  There is tension between personalities, between structure and the lack of it, between wholeness and brokenness, between isolation and vulnerability ... the list could go on and on.  My tendency is to FIX; or at the very least ADDRESS the tension.  I am learning to overcome myself!  Community is an exceptional teacher if we can tolerate the constant exposure.
• When I think of 'what we do',  the word presence comes to mind.  We are present for one another, or at least we try to be more often than not.
• Obviously, there are practical things we do.  We drive people to appointments, we go to court dates, we make banking changes, we facilitate experiences that encourage growth and understanding, we cook together,  we volunteer together, we work through issues together.  We talk about flashbacks and unfortunate formative experiences.  We go for walks and buy groceries.

As I evaluate the first quarter of our year of service, I cannot believe how much I've already learned.  This experience is so good, so challenging, so valid.

Thanks for reading, thanks for praying with us.