a song and truth - (un)answered prayer

this song, by JJ Heller, has been on my heart lately. The different music teams each week have been playing it in church. The lyrics have come into my mind often; its been on mental 'repeat'.


The opening words - 'I have unanswered prayers' - bring tears to my eyes every time I listen.  Mostly because I DO have unanswered prayer.  Unhealed places.  Trouble I wish wasn't there. A mended heart that feels so fragile sometimes.  Places in me and near me where hardheartedness prevails, in spite of so many attempts and pleas to soften and overcome it.

But thats not what this post is about.  Yes, I ... we .. have unanswered prayers.  But we also have ANSWERED PRAYERS.  Here are a few I was dwelling on yesterday....

A friend is celebrating three weeks clean.  I had the chance to throw my arms around her yesterday, and say again - with all my heart: " I BELIEVE IN YOU'.   And to thank her for the privilege of being part of her journey. And to thank the spirit of God, who orchestrates and dwells in these experiences.  My friend and I have shared raw, deep, scary moments together - lots of them not nearly as mushy as these few words might make it seem.  She still has a long road ahead.  But no matter what, I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

I just heard about a young lady who stayed at Flats only for a week last year.  At the time, I worried about her presence among us, about her influence on my kids.  She scared me, and I never figured out how to connect with her.  But someone else who lived here at the time did know how to connect.  At the time, it seemed superficial - no impact was mentioned or even evident.  But we recently learned that this young lady has taken huge, leaping steps since her week with us a year and a half ago.  She is in a brand new place, having left behind  a few vices that had power over her life back then.  We can't take credit for this.  I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

We spent the weekend retreating and planning with the Flatlanders long term team.  I am so excited about next year!  We've learned from mistakes, experimented with trust, and figured out a little bit about how to 'offer ourselves to each other' in authentic ways.  We've celebrated that we sometimes recognize the kingdom of god happening right in our midst.  How did we come together? Who pulled all the strings for us to be in the same book (we aren't all on the same page all the time!), with such relevant experiences, strengths, and abilities? I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

I was asked to share my 'giving birth legacy' today ... 'because all women know things they don't realize about having babies'... and as I paused to think about the 16 years since I first gave birth, I realized just how much I KNOW ANSWERED PRAYER.

There is so much more...

I have unanswered prayers.
I also have answered prayers.
When my world is shaking, HEAVEN STANDS.
Listen to the song..... :)

home, unedited

Gypsy Mama does a 5 minute friday routine where she gives a prompt, and we write on the topic for five minutes.
 we don't re-write, re-think, backspace and start over.. we just go. I'm off today, so here's a little try.

 so, here I go... home is today's topic...

my husband and my family are the usual thoughts i have when i think of home.
 that safe embrace. the quiet whispers, the shared memories, the jokes we know, the stories we share.
 the way we can read a look, a feeling, as if it were scrawled in big letters across the ceiling.
 home is safe, or at least its supposed to be.
 home is intimacy, security.
 some houses have been great homes for us, but not all.
 some years have been wonderful for building our 'home' with one another. other years have torn down what was built before.
 experiences have been so important in the shaping of home, too. Many experiences strengthen our home among eachother. Some have weakened it considerably.

 home. sweet. deep. right. .... and hard, achingly so, sometimes.

 ...and - quit. (I did hit backspace a few times.)

 learn more here, scroll to the bottom to participate.

giving credit.. with love

you may have heard about the link with love campaign that's been noted in several places online.  I heard about it through Brene Brown's blog.

Link with love is a movement to recognize intellectual property - whether its words, photos, images, pictures, ideas, recipes or anything that someone posts - as valuable and not 'publicly owned' even though the internet is a very public place.  The idea is to give credit to the person or place where we get stuff from.

For example, I posted an image the other day of an art piece by a Seattle based artist.  I noted his name on the post, and I emailed him the link (I had to search for his contact info) just to be sure he was okay with it.  He was, and commented about how he appreciated being recognized and made aware of how his images were being used.
There are other examples, though, where I have not done as good of a job, and that's where link with love is helpful.  I'm learning about how I've not honored others and I'm committing to do a better job.  I remember a few years ago when I wrote a post about my love for long country roads.  I used a picture I found online, thinking it was an obscure image of a dirt road lined with trees - unfortunately, the owner of that image didn't want her photography used that way, least of all without permission!  So, I promptly removed the photo and left the post pictureless.
I'm learning... putting this badge on my site doesn't mean that I've figured it out, but it does mean that I'm committed to spreading the love and respecting others!

igniting the imagination

Shane Claiborne was here a few weeks ago, and I went to Knox Church on Edmonton St. to hear him, along with a whole bunch of other Winnipeggers.

If you don't know who Shane is, check out the simple way, or the site for a book he co-wrote with Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove and Enuma Okoro, common prayer.

anyway, it was pretty inspiring being there and seeing just how many church type people were interested in things like what Shane would talk about.

 heres a little snapshot of how I've continued to mull over some of the ideas that were shared.  There's been a whole lot of stuff continuing to rattle around in my head. (don't worry, i wont share ALL of it here...!!)

• how can I (me, our family, Flats, the church) get right into the thick of the struggles around us?  What creative involvements have we overlooked or felt too shy/tired/ill equipped to engage in?  CREATIVE engagement, this phrase has permeated my prayers.
• did you know that the church has an image crisis?  I knew, but I didn't know that there was research to support it!  according to barna research, Christianity  is known for being three things above all others.. anti-gay, hypocritical, and judgmental.  ouch.  lord, help me to recognize all the things i need to confess.
• doctrines should be much harder to love than they apparently are.  and people should be much easier to love than they apparently are. I've been praying to learn new things about loving well.

Apparently Shane is coming to Winnipeg again in a couple of weeks... if you hear about it, you should go!

carefree, zippy, and juicy

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to be kind to ourselves?  I was part of a class this week that did some group testing for a facilitation certificate.  After each of us were tested, the first question was:  What did you like about what you did?  Inevitably, we responded by saying what we didn't like.  

It seems like such a deeply ingrained default position to report our faults - its like we don't even know how to acknowledge our strengths.  Someone noted that thinking of what we liked about our test was like writing with the left hand when you're accustomed to using the right... As a counsellor, I want to help us think differently!  I have this quote in my journal that says:

I have this relentless hope that we're going to make it easier for women to feel better about themselves

Coincidentally, I got a package of reconnect to yourself cards the other day in a gift package I won from Eve Studios.  

So, this morning, I went in to the office and shared the cards with a few of the lovely ladies I get to work with.  We decided to leave the cards by our desk and think of the ways we embody the characteristics we randomly picked out of the deck.  Its a great way to be kind to yourself and practice affirmation ... maybe even a beginning to overcoming the tendency to pick ourselves apart at every opportunity!  The cards I got to reflect on today said: carefree, zippy, & juicy.  Maybe I am carefree in a (very) few places in my life, but I'm learning!   Zippy... well, yeah, I can think of a few areas of my life where that applies.  (and not only while driving around in my little blue car!)    And juicy... well that one takes imagination, but sure -  it fits too!!

One of the other girls got these cards: authentic, peaceful, & deserving. She loved it and felt like the descriptions were perfect for some of the different things she's figuring out right now.  And, she's definitely one of the most peaceful people I know - a very refreshing face at the end of a long day or whenever I'm facing difficult things alongside our clients.  

What a fun way to start the day!

What about you - do you find it hard to be kind to yourself?  I have for many years.. but ever so slowly I'm learning to be kinder ..... What are your reflections on the journey of being gentle to yourself?

containers

" ...  community is the place where the 

truth of God lives, is revealed, 

and the container that it pours out of ... "  

                                                       

glimpses

 There hasn't been a photo post on here in a bit, and I've been using my new phone to take a few pictures.  I've spent the week in Caronport, learning about Adult Development, writing like a mad person, missing my family and Flats, visiting with an old friend... you'll see :)

Sweet Sydney.  This actually wasn't this week.  I just miss her !

The night before I left for school was the Masterworks recital.  I was a proud mama! (Yes, Ember, - I cried!)

This image turned up in my inbox this week, and I've spent quite a while looking at it.  It's called GRIEF and the artist is Matthew Whitney of Seattle.

Monday was the birthday of a school friend, so we celebrated!

Spent a lovely day in Moose Jaw with one of my favorite people in the universe.
You know those friends who are there no matter what - whose love you trust and who  just don't judge you, ever?
What would life be like without friends like this?!

An artsy shot in Downtown Moose Jaw.  I like to pretend I have a good eye for things every once in a while 

I thought I might be able to have a private conversation with some lilacs, but I was caught on film

and this is what the rest of the night holds... a very serious date with my assignments!