encouraged...

I almost posted an entry earlier this week about being discouraged. Not that it would be bad to share that, but it felt a little whiny and victim-y and not really what I want to sow. 

See, we have been in transition mode for a while.  And all the beautiful signs of spring weren't inspiring me and making my whole being sing like usually happens when weather starts to turn and snow starts to melt and birdsong is in the air.  Our family really believed that we'd have some stuff about our future figured out by spring and it's just not all that clear yet.  And I am sick of it, and mad about all sorts of things that led to us not being where we thought we'd be....The lessons of the last couple of years have been very costly in so many ways.

I've spent the week trying to be in a place of listening and praying amid the busyness and noise of daily life. Trying to let go of the negativity that can overwhelm.  Trying to become re-centred.  The response has been the same as it always is... 'Here I am, right here with you.... I am your Hope.  I am your confidence. The things that concern you are my concerns too.  Abide in Me.'

Here are some other moments that have provided encouragement...

• My husband.  He has this amazing way of being great, and when I feel the least connected to him is often when I remember all over again that this whole 'being one' concept is more than a feeling.  It's profound and one of the most hopeful and hope-filled experiences in life.  We've carved out a lot of time together lately, and even our ordinary chats and brief exchanges have been soothing and perfectly timed.
• A great visit with some members of a new intentional community that is forming in Winnipeg.  It was great to hear their stories and inspiration, and to share about Flatlanders daily life and origins.  These folks are being faithful and its inspiring to see God moving and working in this way.  I'm reminded that its really God that is calling these worship expressions into being.  These folks had a trust that was so encouraging, as was their commitment to relationships and service.  They are interested in a different kind of success, and it was refreshing.
• A family meeting we had on Monday night.  Even though our kids balk at things like 'family meetings', especially when I refer to our 'family mission statement' - they engage.  They know that their thoughts and voices and observations matter.  They laugh at their cheesy mom for saving worn out papers that we wrote on years ago, but then they remember that they really did contribute to identifying what we value, and that the things we determined were a genuine representation of who we are together, not any one of us individually.  My kids are quirky and unique and strong minded, and event though those same qualities drive me crazy sometimes, its also incredibly encouraging.
• We are slowly getting a picture of what might be around the corner for us. I am so thankful for this, and so ready!
• thinking about doing a thesis instead of the major project that is necessary for my program... part of me wonders if it is healthy to seek out the most challenging option, and part of me is excited (encouraged!) about the possibilities.

"May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!" from Romans 15, the message