i like the light better.

I posted an entry the other day. After I posted it, a friend encouraged me to remove it, saying one of the illustrations I used might be misunderstood. I believed him, so I removed it. I’m thankful for that honest confrontation. You know someone is a real friend when they talk to you instead of about you.

I've examined my motives in writing that post. I knew that I was in a sad, preoccupied, and even self-absorbed place when I wrote the post. I thought that might have impaired my judgment, but I also thought about how the illustration wasn’t the point; the point was the point- and it is aimed at me along with anyone else it might challenge.

The post was about community, about how we treat each other, courage, and the misuse of power. The point was to encourage thinking about how we use power… and the consequences of misusing it. Call it bulldozing people, crushing people, or oppression. Or you could call it robbing people of dignity. This is likely a good topic for North Americans to reflect on. We have more power than the rest of the world. Add being wealthy and white and you have even more power.

If we are going to take seriously the idea of offering dignity to all (as Jesus did), then we have to think about lots of everyday choices. I’m not saying this from a perspective of judgment, either…. I have a long way to go and lots of changes I’d like to make. We have to think of where we purchase goods, coffee, clothing, brands, parent companies, travel destinations.. the list goes on and on.

And we have to consider how we treat each other. If we’re willing to make up our own rules in relationships in order to avoid taking responsibility, if we’re willing to rob people of dignity and say it’s the only way, if we can’t prioritize walking toward each other – then what hope is there for us? For community? What hope is there that we’ll use all that influence we wield for GOOD?

The post referenced the story of David and Bathsheba, and talked about how Nathan had courageously confronted David about his actions and misuse of power. I wrote about how we could sure use more Nathans among us. (My friend was Nathan-esque!) I also said that David, who recognized his offense and took responsibility, was courageous. We could use more Davids among us too.

These topics have had me thinking a lot. I know that I have a bit of a rebellious spirit that likes to challenge and be challenged. There is a place for railing against injustice and not being complacent. Even ‘small’ injustices should be challenged if we’re ever going to address the major abuse of power that characterizes our world. If we’re going to be committed to dignity, it has to be more than just words – it takes courageous actions.

But there is also a time and place for ‘letting go and letting God’. I have to think more about how and when you know what time it is. I’m thankful for the circumstances that have caused me to be thinking about injustice and oppression – they have been preparing me for the year ahead. I have so much to learn and I’m so excited about the opportunity before us. The last year of my life has changed me forever. I think the next one will too. I hope the changes cause me to resemble Jesus more.

I've spent my adult life (it seems) thinking on lots of ways we could improve things - in our home, our society, our world. I've tried to engage in real practices that make a difference, however meagre. Sometimes this inner voice has made me second guess, because I can do so little that there might not be a point. But I can't seem to just look after me and mine. I always seem to end up thinking about the greater consequences of our actions. And while I know I can't save the world, I have this unshakeable desire to do all I can to be in league with the One who does.

this crescent fresh life...

so Bren finally started his own blog. Yikes - to think of the craziness in his head finding its way into the blogosphere... Check it out.. http://www.thiscrescentfreshlife.blogspot.com/.

Have a great week!!

an inexperienced attempt at combining therapy and theology

The counselling program that I'm in has an emphasis on 'the family system'; which means that it takes an approach to therapy that views the individual as someone who is part of a more complex system. The approach assumes relationship is at the heart of who we are, and starts there. (in a couple of years I'll be able to articulate this much more clearly!)

This model makes sense. So, the family is a 'system'. We don't become who we are in isolation.


Class this week discussed what happens when a wrench - addiction - is thrown into the system. Research has shown that the whole thing responds in some predictable ways. (never black and white, never absolute, but still a valid presumption)

As the 'system' responds, it has some common goals:

1. coping.


2. normalizing, finding a stability.


3. maintaining the stability.

Everyone plays a part in working towards these goals. Everyone knows they have a role to play and inherently understands the goals. This is the fascinating part; we respond with gusto and creativity to 'remedy' or 'address' the situation. We don't talk about it (a given) - we just do it.

Here's where I had a bit of an aha! moment today. As we -the system - attempt to make the best of it, to 'deal', we're revealing our resemblance to our Creator, whose image we bear. We're taking something broken and doing what we can to respond to it. Our motives reveal the longing for wholeness that was poured in to each of us by our creator - its part of the basic recipe. Unfortunately, our best efforts can only result in an illusion of stability, health. But what we're doing in our humble little attempt is a mirror of what God is doing with any part of the situation he's been genuinely welcomed into.

Our attempts to deal, to cope, to stabilize - they in fact keep the whole thing broken. They keep the cycle alive and feed it so that it continues to grow worse and worse. Unfortunately, addiction doesn't tend to stabilize - its nature is to worsen. I don't think there is such a thing as a stable (active) addiction.

When God's creativity and gusto are genuinely invited in, its entirely different. He can redeem. There are no illusions - it is through Him that the circumstance - or parts of it- can TRULY become more whole, can reveal beauty. Can bear fruit, even.

I don't feel as though I'm doing any justice to this idea, but as I was sitting in class today, it just dawned on me how closely what we try to do mirrors what God really can do with our circumstances. (I'm sure this idea applies to a lot more than families and addiction, too!!) This post is less about addiction theory and more about redemption. I'm not an expert in either of those areas ... but this seemed worth sharing. I'm invested in the idea of hope as it relates to addiction for lots of reasons. Mostly, though, I just love learning new things about how creatively God works, how near he is, and how unwavering is his commitment to us.

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Some lyrics came to mind as I was chewing on this idea...from Made to Worship (Tomlin)

When You and I embrace surrender

When You and I choose to believe

Then You and I will see who we were meant to be

He has filled our hearts with wonder

So that we always remember

You and I were made to worship

You and I are called to love

Theme Songs

the 43 things site inspired me to think about the idea of a theme song for one's life. Do any of you guys have one? Its a great idea!

I don't think I have a lifetime song, but I've noticed some songs for this phase of our life. (It helps that I recently got my own IPOD) (Thanks, Sheryl! and Brendan!!)


Here are some possibilities:



Lost Together - Blue Rodeo

My Town - Glass Tiger

Baby Beluga - Raffi (just kidding!)

Poker Face - Lady GaGa (not for any reason other than it's been our road trip song this year!)



I'd put videos of the songs on here if I knew how but my technological know-how has not yet reached that level. you'll just have to sing them in your head.... or hum them as you surf the net. Or look them up on you tube. Or listen really hard.... If I'm in a vehicle as you read this, I might just be singing at the top of my lungs.

Noticing

I must admit that I've spent most of my life being an un-noticer. Sort of oblivious; preoccupied. If it was necessary, I would take note, but only of the relevant parts. Just the straight goods, and don't waste my time with the rest. Nope, no inefficiency here.

It has been a discipline of the last year or so to pay better attention, to notice more. I've been 'strengthening my inferior functions.' (based on the advice of my MBTI coach.. Andrew.. do you even read this blog?!)

This week, while at Caronport, I've taken a couple of long walks. my journey of noticing has been paying off.. I was noticing so much!

the sun's warmth. nature sounds. water dropping.

kids laughing in the distance.

thoughts... how difficult it is for me to 'sit with' things, how uncertainty diminishes peace.

space.. around me. in my life. beloved prairies.

revelations. awareness.

a bird taunting a cat. over and over, swooping down each time the cat loses interest.

the breeze.

The trans-canada highway bustling by this quiet, serene little hamlet.. travellers from all over going somewhere important.

spring buds. color.

contrast.

encouraged.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling quite a bit of doubt and tension about our recent decisions. There is so much change and so much risk, but also so much potential and so much to learn. I was looking to God and asking for one thing He doesn't promise.. guaranteed success. That would be the opposite of faith, I guess. I wrote a prayer in my journal, asking for confirmation or some sign of hope to encourage my sagging spirits.

A few hours later, Owen was practicing some worship songs on his guitar, and we were chatting.. he said he wanted to be on a youth worship band in church next year. I took his optimism as a sign of promise and encouragement.

A few hours after that, I was watching tv and I happened upon this show that talked about the 'unsinkable Molly Brown' (read more here - she's quite something!) and was encouraged to hear about the parents of this feisty woman, who insisted on educational pursuits that we're simply not part of their culture at the time. They went a little against the grain, took some flack, and there were some positive benefits after all was said and done. A program that would have intrigued me on any old day suddenly provided encouragement on this particular day.

Later, when I came upstairs, there was Syd, laptop humming... checking out the dance school she hopes to go to next year, reviewing their schedule and planning the best way to take the classes she most wants to be in. More encouragement.

Finally, the day is done. I put my head down, and I'm so comfortable. The pillow, the blankets, Brendan's arm.. all perfectly arranged .... I feel completely enveloped in peace. And full of hope.

It was a very good day. Actually, God is good, and He is near.

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ps: check out the previous post about addiction. its an interesting topic and one that really gives us pause. I've been interested to see who responds to the concept that we're all addicted with interest, and who immediately shoots it down as psychomumbojumbo. :)

Addiction?

“I am not being flippant when I say that all of us suffer from addiction. Nor am I reducing the meaning of addiction. I mean in all truth that the psychological, neurological, and spiritual dynamics of full-fledged addiction are actively at work within every human being. The same processes that are responsible for addiction to alcohol and narcotics are also responsible for addiction to ideas, work, relationships, power, moods, fantasies, and an endless variety of other things. We are all addicts in every sense of the word.”

This quote comes from a book I'm reading called Addiction and Grace, written by Gerald May. By Sunday night, I have to write a reflection on those words.. in preparation for Monday's mod. week. I'm on the way to being done already ... but I'm still very interested in the response this quote elicits in you folks reading. What do you think? Is this a narrow understanding of addiction? Or an accurate picture of humanity? Or perhaps just our society? I've asked a few of you in conversation and the response I've already heard is intriguing enough to make me curious to hear more of your thoughts.