the church

Read Steve Bell's blog this morning... here is a quote about the church that struck me;

... Her flaws do not constitute her any more than mine constitute me, and I bet yours don’t constitute you either. It’s terribly important we own up to and amend for our weaknesses. But it’s also  important we don’t allow them to define us ...

A good reminder for me.. I am often disillusioned with the church, yet I always love her deeply and feel pulled in the direction of defending and building her up.

sisters

"The oldest sister tends to be the prima donna, the leader, single minded, self centred, the mother replacement, as well as the most responsible one.  In fact she cannot avoid taking responsibility for organizing the siblings and directing their activities.  She dispenses her worldly wit and wisdom, even if it falls on deaf ears. "

McGoldrick et al; 'Women in Families' 

Just wondered what my younger siblings would think of this quote ... for the record, I object to the stuff I don't like!

healthy people...

Counselling students can get awfully caught up in thinking about dysfuction and pathology.  Sometimes it feels like we're swimming in sick-ness - its all we read, write, talk about, especially when we have boatloads of papers to write and assignments to finish. (thats where I am right about now...)

So, its healthy to gain some perspective every once in a while.  Here are some thoughts about healthy human characteristics ... (straight from a biblical counselling textbook!)

• open and vulnerable approach to relationship, without need for defensiveness or self protection
• acceptance of pain and conflict as part of life and relationship - without withdrawing, spiritualizing
• ability to grasp the importance of timing and discretion with regard to conflict
• experience a marred, but real, joy - sadness because things are not as they should be, without expressing their disappointment as anger... 'groaning', but confident (see Romans 8:22)
• times of intimacy and awareness of God's touch and presence, anchored by long periods of 'quiet allegiance'
• not fearful of confusion, tolerance - even welcoming of uncertainty
• okay with struggling and failing
• know repentance, authentic repentance
• not controlled by emotional trouble (nor free of it)
• able to experience profound hurt or loneliness without repression or denial

"[these] are worthy of an image-bearer... I find myself hungering for this kind of life.  I want MORE than freedom from painful memories and repressed emotions.  I want MORE than understanding of how forces within my unconscious have been shaped ... I want community, community with God and others...."
            - paraphrased list above and this quote from Larry Crabb, Understanding People.

What do you think? Does this text resonate?

glowing

What are the things that make you glow from the inside?  For me, one of life's purest, simplest joys is waking up with my family in arm's reach - all in the same room!  It's the highlight of vacations that include hotels or camping.  I open my eyes and bask in it before I even look at the clock.  And my kids mock me for saying "I love being together" before I even say 'good morning'...

We've spent a lovely weekend in the bustling metropolis of Grand Forks, ND.  Our purpose was getting away, but also shopping - we all needed a few things so decided to come down and take advantage of the dollar at par while also spending time together.  We've explored TJ MAXX, Target, Scheers, and the local thrift stores (of course!).  I'm not really comfortable with the consumer emphasis, but I really needed some new runners, and I'm pumped about the pink Saucony ones I got at Columbia mall.  I also found an awesome running path near the university,  I managed to only get slightly lost... :)

We ate on the UND campus, at a local favorite called Red Pepper.  We had the favorite offering there - the grinder taco sandwich.  Mexican food is so good!

It's so good to get a little getaway.  Now we're even more excited about our July trip to San Francisco...

What are some of you planning for upcoming holidays?  What do you look forward to most?

pausing ... a photo post

The last month or so has been pretty intense.  Not overwhelming kind of intense, but a really focused time, with a few projects on the go.  I actually enjoy seasons like this!  Nevertheless, this week is an intentional time of pause and reflection.  Here are a few photos of what we've been up to....

We hosted a team of local students on an innercity ministry exposure week. 

Here we are on day one ...

I sent the team on a prayer artifacts walk early in the week.

This is one of the artifacts... a piece of metal found nearby, both a reminder of

how scrap metal is a source of income for some people in our neighborhood, but also

a profound image of the 'incompleteness' that is common to all of us.

We visited with some neighbors in a nearby housing complex.

It was a spontaneous time, and ended up being a great afternoon where

we learned that 'unplanned' can lead to great opportunities. (and great photos!)

The whole week was an exercise in trusting for me, as my preference would be

to schedule and orchestrate in 8 minute blocks.. but I resisted my tendencies and it was great.

The theme of our week was 'Beauty in Unlikely Places - Seeing beyond the Stereotypes'

We were building towards a shared meal with new friends on Good Friday.  It was a success!  We served about 50 people and made some good connections.

The week ended with a Walk of the Cross.  Nate led us to several nearby locations where

neighbors and friends were remembered, and their stories told.  This was poignant not only because of

Passion Week, but also because we'd been reflecting as a team during the week about the importance of relationship because it honors people who are often stereotyped or judged in our society.

This is just me :)

It was taken at my sister Lisa's place, on a night when my three sisters and I got

together with our mom's sisters.  I wore this colorful scarf because it was my mom's.

I've carried it around with me all these years (along with a few other momentos...)

This year makes 20 years since she died.

One of my favorite faces at our drop in....

One of the big projects I worked on this month was an Adult Series in our church..

I facilitated discussion about Addiction as a Spiritual disorder...

I 'assigned' a creative response project for the Easter Sunday class.

This is my husbands painting

... a little interpretation? ... addiction blocks out the light of relationship, the beauty of life.  There is a 'boulder' in front of the Light.. but as it was on Easter Sunday, it can be rolled away to reveal a radically different and renewed Life.

he's deeper than he lets on, that sweet hubby of mine...!

and this was my creative response.  it comes mostly from a worship song I adore called

Stand on The Rock... I just wanted a visual reminder of what is fundamental for me in the midst of great insights and theories about human behavior...

Out on a walk by the Red River...

'mom, can i take this signpost home and put it in my room?'

 ... 'NO...!!'

'okay, then at least take my picture with it!'

oh, the ironies.....

found this at the tao of chaos.

bucket of cold water

Earlier this week, I submitted a paper (which included a sermon) on Ephesians 5.  You know the chapter - as soon as I say 'headship' or 'submission' folks who have spent some time in churches have an idea - likely even an opinion - about the passage.

I was captivated by the passage, and my dread about the assignment turned into pleasure as I absorbed and learned.  I ended up writing about Ephesians 5 as an invitation to intimacy.  I ended up spending time re-reading and thinking on the material in a way that made me see with new eyes what a gift it is to be married, even to have the privilege of relationship and shared life with others.  I ended up being captivated again by the love Christ has for the church, the sacrificial love that bears all things.  I ended up thinking about the passion of Christ and the passion of husbands and wives, the passionate responsibility we have towards one another if we call Jesus 'Lord'.  I was humbled, inspired, and renewed by the study.  I shared my insights with anyone who would listen, not because I think I'm smart, but because its so good to learn good things from God.  It felt like an invitation not only in general terms, but in my own life, my own marriage....

today, a few of us were chatting and making a shopping list, chopping vegetables and doing dishes, when we noticed a prostitute servicing a man just outside of our window, on the tracks by our place.  We reacted with likely typical horror, giggles, and general discomfort, averting our eyes from the window and telling the kids to stay away from them... we checked every couple of minutes to see if they were done.  And then Bren and I went shopping, saying a quick but eyes-downward hello to the 'couple' as they walked through our parking lot and we got into the car.

I'm left feeling unsettled and tense.  Not just because of what I saw out the window, but because it brought home the reality of how easily we settle for cheap imitations and crappy counterfeits when the good and gracious gifts of god are always being offered to us.

The contrast between the intimacy we're invited into in Ephesians 5 and the image of the two strangers on the tracks is profound.