hilarious conversations

I just read two very funny accounts of Kindergartners funny suppertime conversations. Very entertaining.
Yes, I am supposed to be writing a paper... Thats usually when I waste time blogging, when I'm supposed to be doing something else ... anyway, I thought I'd post about some hilarious conversation in our house yesterday...
Owen was supposed to be home around 9pm and didn't waltz in until about 9:35. He comes banging loudly into the house (think Kramer...) and says...

"Hi, I'm late. Tall tale or truth?"

dad says, (of course) "tall tale, please"

O begins... "Well there were these deranged monkeys - orange and black ones - in the trees by the church. Just as I was walking by, ON TIME, they lunged at me and Trevor. LUNGED at us! They had machetes!! We were so shocked! Well, not that shocked, because they're the same deranged monkeys we ran into last week... and we thought we'd defeated them then. But they've been lying in WAIT for us all this time, just bidding their time. I wonder what they've been eating?! Anyway, we tried and almost had them beat. But then, they took our shoes and cut our heads off with their machetes. (he is a teenaged boy) We'd have been almost on time, except that we had to run all the way to Saskatoon, (with no shoes)to the hospital, to have our heads sewn back on. To tell you the truth, its a miracle I'm only this late...I hope those monkeys have gone to torment some kids in Hague or something..."

Mom: truth, please?

O: I was in the middle of a good video game. I didn't want to lose.