a friend made a comment the other day about being glad that his daughter was dating someone from a good family. Call me crazy, but it struck me as odd. What constitutes a good family, anyway? Is there a universal definition? If there is, I'm not sure I'd have qualified. Mom, if you're reading this, thanks for not throwing me out on my ear when I started going out with your son!
The closest I've ever come to experiencing something similar was with my youngest sister, Karen, who lived with us as a teen. I remember meeting her boyfriend - who eventually became her husband - for the first time. What struck me was how I had this deep sense that the two of them were made for one another. It was odd, but I knew that God had brought them to one another; I was certain. Some time later, I was hanging clothes on the line in my backyard, when the two of them came over to tell us that they were expecting a baby. I remember the day very well. I was frustrated that they were in that circumstance... but then I looked into Bry's eyes. Again, I remember seeing something in there that made the inside of me know that he was right for Karen. Whatever it took to love and care for my amazing sister - who had lost her mom in Kindergarten - he had it. Together, they've journeyed together in knowing Jesus. And they're two of the most amazing parents I've ever met. (I learn from them all the time!) They certainly don't have an idyllic and perfect existence; but they are an example to many around them, and their love is genuine and deep. (I still haven't listened to Bruce's message where he refers to their journey... but I will!)
What was Bry's family like? I don't remember thinking about it.. but after a while I called Bry's mom up and we had lunch... to celebrate that we were "sharing" people. It was nice. We ate baked potato soup at Tony Roma's.
When it comes to diversity, we think about cultural or racial differences often... but what about other kinds of diversity? Like diversity in families? What about diverse ways of expression, of responding to community, of handling adversity. Diverse ways of loving, being a friend, parenting, relating. What about the diversity that grows from having many challenges versus very few challenges? Or diversity that comes from being taught about Jesus from the cradle or meeting him on your own Damascus road?
I've been given opportunities to know so many kinds of people over the years, and I am so very thankful for the diversity I've been exposed to. I've had lots of chances to experience lots of things.. some awesome and some heartbreaking. And I think I even appreciate who it has made me.
I know that my hubby's mom had serious reservations about her son and I - my parents ere divorced, the result of abuse. She felt that the greatest predictor of a child's life was the life of her parents. To a degree I understand, but I also have seen God's grace too often in my life to write anyone off - good family or not.
ReplyDeleteI am crying,
ReplyDeleteThanx Kel for loving me the way you do!
Very insightful post... as are all of yours. This is something that has irked me... that we think we can judge a person's character and future worthiness as a spouse based on their family background... this feels so wrong. Their background is something to consider, but doesn't determine whether a couple will be compatible for the long term. They have to figure this out themselves. ...So what is the ideal? middle class (that is quickly vanishing), no divorce, no striff, no nothing having ever gone wrong. Good luck finding this person!!
ReplyDeleteH.