I am often late. not always, but often. Its not that I can't plan well, I can. (and frequently do!) Its not that I don't own an alarm clock or a watch, I own one of each. I've never missed a plane or a speaking engagement. But I often come to appointments a few minutes late. the biggest reason? I misjudge distance or prep time.... and I usually have a lot on the go!
I've heard people refer to folks like me as not valuing the time of others, I even read a recent frustrated blog post that called people like me 'self important'! (everyone has a lot on the go .. I recognize this!)
Still, I challenge this perception! I value others a great deal. And I don't think I'm more important than others.... so why am I often late? i've asked myself this question often. My husband has asked me this question often!!
... been thinking on this... and have spent a lot of time in my life trying to be a more on time person! i've actually made some progress...!! But I've also realized that its a huge effort for me to do it. Seriously.. it is like putting a square peg in way too small round hole multiple times/day. Consequently, I'm wondering if lateness is a personality thing. If it's not really a choice.. its just the way some of us are. Some of us are quieter, some of us boisterous. some of us expressive, some are reserved. Some are more apt to be defensive, others rarely take offense. Some are meticulous about appearance, some more haphazard. And some are chronically late while others are always on time (or even early!)
i'm wondering... can we find ways to 'create space' for one another rather than judging or personalizing the actions of others? Can the person who comes late to a meeting be appreciated even if they're always 6 minutes later than everyone else? Can it be okay to just get started and welcome the late person when they get there?
i'm wondering... does the world need more ways to make people feel guilty, more pressures to conform to expectations? How can we be genuinely okay with diverse characteristics among people?
these might sound like crazy ideas, but I'm just wondering.
what do you think?
When you find an answer can you give me some insight too? ;)
ReplyDeleteKelly I understand what you are saying. I think the "problem" of lateness lies in the personality too. However I am more inclined to say that our structures of time are cultural. I am learning a lot of new things about punctuality and time in Peru. Down here the values are completely different. I admit it frustrates me a lot when people are late. But that is not because I feel that they don't care about me or are "self important." But with that said I am also learning what it means to adapt to the culture I am in and function within that construct. I think that is true whether that means being on time or being okay with being late. So your efforts to become punctual are admirable. I really like your post Kelly... I too recently read what I am sure is the same post you read. It was really good to read your thoughts.
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