the same tribe

this post is about community. I am always exploring this idea of community.. how great it is, what it does mean or can mean, what's missing when its missing... the topic is on my mind often. If you read this blog very often, or if you know me very well, you know that community is a 'biggie' value.

A new friend gave me some new words to think about when considering community.. a mentor of hers had used the phrase 'we're in the same tribe'. The phrase was used to communicate affinity, some common ground, a connection - something mutual. So, I got to thinking about pseudo-community and genuine community - and how much 'being in the same tribe' affects those two concepts.

I get the psedo community phraseology from M. Scott Peck's book 'The Different Drum; Community Making and Peace'.

Peck says that pseudo community is a place on the way to genuine community, but that some groups get stuck there.

What follows is either a combination of my ideas and Pecks or a complete massacre of his ideas. If its the latter, forgive me! - I'm not trying to do a book review here, just to give credit where it belongs!

basically, the thing that excites me about genuine community is the potential.. we can accomplish something not only better, more beautiful, more unique and totally exciting when we are a genuine 'we' ... but its something that could never otherwise be. There's no other way for it to exist other than the magical, spiritual, symbiotic, energy filled, dynamic union of a group's unique experiences, ideas, personalities, gifts. The 'something' that is created can be a simple but meaningful gift to the world, or it can actually be a common project, cause, vision .... I took the liberty of drawing my little thoughts for all 6 readers of this blog...

See these happy people in genuine community?!?!? They're united and smiling, and the thing that has grown into existence as a result of their bond is dynamic and real... they are involved from their hearts, hands, even feet! And the thing that now exists (artfully depicted above their heads...) is not only influencing them, its having a bigger impact.. they've given to it, its giving to them, and its growing to influence others... My drawing is so beautiful and accurate (ha!) because I've experienced this kind of community. It's not life-sucking. It's collaborative, open. It's not necessarily easy.. but its real. And it is so, so GOOD! This is the experience that could characterize all of our relationships! .... if only ...

These folks are in pseudo community. They are creating something, but its less dynamic, more rigid. Even though its probably a really easily definable thing that they are doing together, its not something your spirit or heart recognizes. Instead of working together creating the 'new thing that couldn't otherwise exist', these folks are occupied more with not getting on each others nerves! There's more rules about whats acceptable and not in this group, (not that there aren't rules with the group above, its just that rules aren't a defining element). This group, to use Peck's words, are stuck in trying to convert and heal each other towards a specific expression -usually the ideas of someone within the group - so the 'new thing' that could be created is resisted before it even begins... Sadly, i've been part of this kind of community, too.

Just so the ideas hit home, here is a thought about each type of community...

genuine community.. I once led a team for about two years. We had a purpose, and our purpose involved multiple ways of communicating with stakeholders, some internationally, we had to organize events, awareness and fundraising, and speaking opportunities... i actually am surprised at how much we did! But somehow, it all got done, and each time we pulled something off, we debriefed after the fact and said.. 'wow.. this exceeded all of our expectations!'... during the course of our time together, we learned what different gifts were among us and began to integrate the uniqueness of our team into our actions. We learned about each others families and visited each other's homes. We supported each other in other areas of life and prayed for one another. i stopped leading this team when I moved to Hepburn, but I am frequently reminded of all that I learned from this humble little group. Were we 'all from the same tribe'?.. certainly not by looking at the outside! There were more differences than similarities amongst us. There were men and women, older and younger, retired and professional... The thing was, no one had to be 'right'... no one believed that they had 'the' idea. We really believed and acted like 'together' was the key word. And something very unique and effective grew out of our community....

pseudo community... A few years ago, in one of my workplaces, i participated in a monthly 'group' meeting. This group was gathered to improve communication and the feeling of team in this particular organization. the idea to create this group was suggested by several of the people who attended, but when the meetings actually became a reality, no one really wanted to be there. the ideas that were generated fell flat, any attempts at humor were only politely tolerated. People showed up late or not at all. Creative and gifted people were definitely present, but somehow their contributions were stifled or not even put on the table. What started as an idea borne to be helpful and meaningful turned into one more thing that contributed to the very problem it was trying to address... why?!?!?

was it because this group were 'not from the same tribe?' - this is where this language (as much as i like it) begins to be less applicable... but the lack of commonality, of shared goals, even of hope... this is a really important consideration in this expression of pseudo community. Those present at the monthly meeting didn't believe that their efforts could make a difference... and it showed. There was also a lot of resentment, turf protecting, old un-addressed and festering wounds, and a few of the people had 'the way we should go' all figured out. There was no openness to the 'beautiful new thing' that could be created if only genuine community had been welcome...

Anyway, thats enough words for today. As i type this post, i am so, so, so thankful for all the people and places that have taught me about genuine community. I hope that your experiences are as rich as mine...but come to think of it, I think that heart breaking pseudo community experiences are what makes genuine community so much richer.. so I guess I wish both kinds of community for you!

thanks for tolerating my artwork...