recently...

with mom at thanksgiving.

yes, I really did make them pull over on the #1 Highway.

i liked this in the store. Didn't want to pay for it, but I liked it...

Auntie Karen and Syd.

My kids in the same room, not fighting. On film.

"It's called a Ta-Too"... you know, like the guy on Fantasy Island...?

At Pine Ridge Hollow with Pepere Legault. I mean Haily.

TJ looking a little scared. Well, Eryka can intimidate anyone...

Owen and Haily at Grandmas.

I'm 11 years old all over again..

I'm typing this post from Winnipeg. I came unexpectedly, decided in about 20 minutes last Thursday that I was hopping a ride with Sheryl and her mom the very next morning ... right now, Karen is downstairs doing the dishes.. she is sort of conversing with me, but I don't want to do any more dishes. All of a sudden I felt like... hey, I can sit up here and do something else and by the time I get down there, she'll be done... hmmm. So, here I type. (I don't regularly shirk chores like that - I'm far too task oriented for that... but I also don't usually take off to another province with no forethought...)
So, I'll tell a bit about my weekend... I'm feeling quite restored, and I know I needed to be with my sisters. They know every story about me, every weakness, every background detail that leads to how I respond to any current reality. I needed strength that comes from them, and I'm feeling able to get on with things once I get back to real life.
Friday was a very fun day of driving, I ended up with Rick and Sylvia after a funny story involving pulling over unexpectedly on the #1 highway. Driving between Brandon and Elie was not very fun, but the ironic thing is most people have experience with bad conditions on that stretch. Saturday we went for Brunch at Lisa's (eggs benny, her specialty) with fresh raspberries on the side, I was spoiled.
Then we spent the day at Sargent Park watching Brads jr. boys team from Calvin Christian play in a volleyball tourney. I had time to take Lorries truck to Hulls for a quick stop - I don't think there is anywhere like that in S'toon. Karens in the evening, visiting and laughing....
Today Carol and I went to Mountain Bean, the new coffee shop in N. Winnipeg that I hadn't been to yet. (Sisters arent only biological...:) (Except the one that is downstairs saying "What are you DOING??!" most definitely IS a blood relative!!)
Tomorrow I'm going to take Mom out for coffee, and hang out with Cory and my niece Ally after school. And maybe I'll check out one of my favorite 2nd hand stores in Charleswood.... Oh! I hear the water draining... must be time to go downstairs for a game of scrabble...

surveying the cross

Mostly, surveying the cross results in feelings of overwhelming grief and overwhelming thankfulness... grief that it was necessary, thankfulness that there was a plan and Jesus was willing. Thankfulness too for what is available because of the cross.

Today though, I was standing beside my daughter in church, and i was the usual weepy mess during worship songs... (why is that, by the way? It is so rare that I am not moved by the words. It happens when I'm at home too, when I'm driving, or anytime I concentrate on the message... it drives my husband crazy. And why do I keep wearing mascara to church?!)

My daughter is singing. beautifully. She does that. I'm not just biased, she has an angelic voice. And I was gripped by the fact that i am so passionate, way down to the bottom of my toes and even deeper, about my kids knowing God. I mean KNOWING Him... for real. Not in a meeting anyone else's expectations kind of way. Not in a 'its what everyone around me does' kind of way. Not even in a 'its morally right' kind of way...

Nope, what I'm passionate about is that they end up walking through life side by side with Jesus, having no doubt that they're silly sheep who desperately need the guidance, voice, and wisdom of the Shepherd. Recognizing that there is something within them that can only be addressed by the cross of Christ. ... Laying down the wish to manage it themselves. I'm passionate that they become people of love and kindness, grace and forgiveness, purpose and passion, - and also that they accept those things from others and from God when they need it. I guess I'm passionate that they become Kingdom people; with a real and earthy love for God that doesn't need to be organized or structured, but is just deep and just true.

So today, I surveyed the wondrous cross... and realized that one of the most important things to me, of all things in the big wide world, is that these young ones who have been miraculously entrusted into my family, that they too would be awestruck by the wonderful cross.

"The Wonderful Cross"

When I survey the wondrous cross

On which the Prince of Glory died

My richest gain I count but loss

And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet

Sorrow and love flow mingled down

Did ever such love and sorrow meet

Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross,

O the wonderful cross

Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live

O the wonderful cross,

O the wonderful cross

All who gather here by grace draw near and blessYour name

Were the whole realm of nature mine

That were an offering far too small

Love so amazing, so divine

Demands my soul, my life, my all

--Chris Tomlin

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

Full

You know how you feel after a turkey dinner? Full, but not room for another bite. Well, maybe a little pumpkin pie...


That is how I'm feeling right now, but not in the physical I've eaten lots kind of way, but in the spiritual I've received lots kind of way.


I was just a collaborator on a ladies retreat speaking assingment. The preparation, the delivery, the experience, the women I was with, the leading of the spirit... FILLING. better than pumpkin pie, even with whipped cream.


My son just turned 13. The last two nights around the supper table, talking, eating his fave meals, perusing the journal we made him, seeing him begin to grasp 'growing up'.... FILLING. better than mashed potatoes with corn all smushed over the top.


Bethany College is awesome. Christ focused post secondary education, young people who are committed to figuring out what they're called to; what service is; how they can make a difference, what 'church' means, how they can live out their love for Jesus in transformational ways... being able to be involved in that in the smallest of ways... huge privilege..... FILLING. better than squishy, soft, white buns with real butter.


HOME - not the dwelling you live in, but the marriage and family and relationships and laughter and community and even conflict that are safe, accepting, truthful, comfy, right, ... FILLING. better than mom's peas with the creamy sauce.

Tonight there was a church business meeting, where many from our congregation gathered to talk honestly about things important to this group of believers. There was such an earthy love for God and for all people expressed, some courageous moments, and some statements of commitment about caring for our community and not getting hung up things that distract us from our purpose as the body of Christ.... FILLING. better than stuffing with cranberries in it.


Guidance from God. Deep 'gut' feelings...There are times when you wonder, and times when you're sure. It is FILLING to be sure and to trust.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

just like Bette.. without the eyes :)

so, we've been doing these celebrity personality quizzes. I'm a Bette Davis. Can you see the resemblance? I just wore that gown to work last week, maybe you missed it. Caused quite a stir in the caf at lunch time.

See the quizzes here.

They're surprisingly accurate and don't take long. And they're fun. For those of you who are coming to the Hepburn retreat this weekend; we will be exploring some personality fun on Friday night...

ok, here are my results...

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me
* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

(hmmm... sounds right so far...)

What's Hard About Being a Bette
* overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
* being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
* putting too much pressure on myself
* getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bettes as Children Often
* are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
* seize control so they won't be controlled
* figure out others' weaknesses
* take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents
* are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
* are sometimes overprotective
* can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Demanding? Independent? Impatient? Stomp?

..... really.

you should do one too. I've seen two Hepburnites compared to Hepburns... Audrey and Katherine.

Broken

I felt prompted this morning to revisit a familiar place in Scripture.. John 15. And I came away with new insight ... our abiding is not only a commitment to remain with, abide in, connect ourselves intentionally to Jesus... its also about COMPLETION. As in, my brokenness is healed/addressed and I am made more 'complete' as I dwell with (abide in) Jesus.

... my profound thought for today.

Shalom.

Who do you think I am?

An article has captured my imagination. It's from the Walrus magazine. An artist has met with a few random Canadians, asking them to use the identification tools (similar to those used by police investigators) to create composite pictures of themselves.

"The result is a study in the complexity and conflictedness of identity, of the subtle disjunctions between how we look from the outside and how we think of ourselves from the inside."

...yeah... what he said.

check it out here (and don't miss out on the bonus 'online only' images.. they're the most interesting ones!) Scroll down to get the article text after the first image, then scroll through the images... It's worth the time, pretty fascinating!

I've been considering the importance of self awareness, and self acceptance lately. Studying this group of photos reveals how the gap between how we see ourselves and how we really appear. (or how others see us) It's pretty amazing to see the "I wish I was...." come through the composites that show how individuals see themselves...

I think my composite would look like this: (at least lately, this is how I see myself...)

Some days, or at least for a few moments some days, I'd think I must look like this:

But the me I'm longing to be most of the time looks sort of like this: I couldn't leave it at funny, had to inject some sap... and I really do miss the days when my kids were littler!!!!