collaborative journals

sometime in 2008, a little movement of 'collaborative journalling' started in Hepburn.. the idea was encouraged by two women speaking at a retreat together. At one point, there were journals being exchanged in church foyers and offices, over coffee and playdates. I have no idea how many of those original journals continued, but I do know that I've continued with the 'original' collaborator and with several others.

As I read through the various journals I am part of during my 'turn', i am inspired by community, faithfulness, and vulnerability. These little glimpses of friendship are creative and they radiate warmth and joy, in spite of being pretty raw sometimes.

I hope that this wasn't just a little trend that came and went for a few of us! Just incase the idea inspires you, here is a little encouragement to go ahead and DO it for yourself ..... (it could be a 2010 project!)

• It is not as time consuming as one might think!


• Any journal, notebook or scribbler lying around the house will do.


• this is an AWESOME idea for staying in touch with distant friends - it only costs a few dollars to mail the journal within Canada-


• its also a great way for those of us who see each other lots to get a glimpe into whats going on below the surface..


• it is a great way to pray for each other or share what you're learning, what is making the journey interesting, challenging, or beautiful


• over time, it is a valuable way to inspire each other with evidences of growth and learning


• an entry or two each month is all that is needed..(or more if you have time is fun too!)


• creativity (color, sketches, images/words from magazines, snapshots, stickers or scrapbook-y stuff) makes it so much fun ... especially when your styles are different and the beauty of diversity is right there on the pages in front of you!


• multi-generational is good, i love the journal I'm sharing with a recent high school grad, I'm about to read about her new experiences at the U of S after I finish this post...

Creative ways to share and learn together are awesome. Community is good in all its shapes and forms...

Happy journalling!

burn out

The ethics class I recently took discussed the importance of self care for anyone in a care-providing role; teaching us essentially that we have an ethical responsibility to care for ourselves. This fits into the counselling ethic criteria of non maleficence - 'at the very least, do no harm'.

We can actually wreak havoc in others' lives if we end up burned out, numb, or overwhelmed....we can do significant harm. If we are in a position of power or authority, we will likely abuse it or mis-handle it when we are in burn out or acute stress.

A lesson life is teaching me is that we can confuse self care and self protection. Genuine self care requires genuine community.

Caring for one another is a continuous circle, and I am seeing the importance of nurturing and preserving that circle, giving priority to restoring the smallest of gaps because of the high price of inattention or avoidance.

2009 was the year of learning about burn out from so many sources and so many contexts that my heart aches for the many sadnesses.

May 2010 be the year of learning about renewal, refreshment, invitation, healing, and wholeness.

For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel;

In returning and rest you shall be saved

amazed

Yesterday, our family received the best gift we've ever gotten. No joke. Someone could give us a new car or a cruise in the tropics and it would not compare.

We've made a friend in our neighborhood, I'll call him Sam.

Sam lives across the street from us in a building on Jarvis and Main. He mustn't spend much time in his suite though, because he is always around. I see him often when I meet the kids at the bus stop, or if we go for a walk, he sometimes joins us, because he's just hanging around.

Sam knows everything that is going on around the neighborhood, he'll tell you who the police were talking to, when they were at a certain location, .. he can almost always tell you who was doing what, and when they were doing it. He won't normally tell you why though, he's a facts only kind of guy!

Sam's story is a sad one. He was assaulted with a metal pipe many years ago, right on Main street, and suffered extensive brain damage. His memory is full of holes.. but is amazingly sharp at the same time. He doesn't forget an appointment or a date; if we say we're all going out for lunch in two weeks, he doesn't need to be reminded! (In fact he reminds us!) Or if we invite him to an event, like the coffee house we had last week, he just remembers and comes... right on time! But, if I ask him if he knows our names... not so much. He just gets this twinkle in his eye, scratches his head and says.. 'I forget'. He is coming for breakfast on Christmas morning, and I already know the doorbell will ring at exactly 10am... and he'll be wearing a new shirt, because we told him it's a special occasion.

Yesterday, at drop in, Sam brought our family some Christmas presents. A pair of socks for Owen, a scarf for me, a Christmas stocking with soap for Syd, and gloves for Bren. ohh... and sweets. He always gives us sweets!

I will wear my new scarf often, thankful most of all for the gift of this friendship.

C'est ma fete!

I've had a great birthday today. The best gift of all? I'm tempted to say family and friends, because they are wonderful and i did spend time with some of each today! I treasure the amazing people in my life. And I saw my daughter in the Jr. band and choir concert - that was also a great treat.

But the gift on my mind right now? TIME. or maybe GRACE.

Time heals deep, deep wounds. Grace causes us to remember who we once were and recognize when our old self comes back from an extended vacation.

there's this awesome blue rodeo song called 'til i am myself again' - (are there any un-awesome blue rodeo songs?) the song talks about confidence just disappearing one day ... as soon as the song comes on, i start to cry... If I listened to it now, I might still cry, but I think it would be a thankful cry.

Narrative

Some themes just pop up over and over it seems.

'Narrative' is one. Sometimes i hear about it in the theology context, reclaiming the whole redemption story as just that.. a story...

sometimes in the therapeutic setting, where we practitioners are supposed to be skilled and curious conversationalists.

I am excited to be learning narrative therapy! I read about narrative all over the place.

Here is a new blog I found today, so I linked it to the blogroll on the left. The linked post is about narrative practice.

enjoy.

advent thoughts

for advent, I've been contemplating Isaiah 30. I was looking and reflecting in November for something to focus on for advent and this passage felt like the place to park for a while. Some other Flatlanders have been trying to read this chapter, too. On sunday night, a few of us lit some candles and went around in a circle reading sections, then we talked about it together.

Two other advent thoughts that have really been meaningful this season;

• the various ways and contexts in which people have sung, prayed, or even cried out: "Come, Lord Jesus". When I think it, pray it, or sing it, I see images - faces, stories - from the last few months and it means something totally new. And I FEEL these words so much more than I ever have.
• Expectancy. Sometimes it is celebratory and almost carefree to wait upon the Lord. We are full of trust and hope. Sometimes, it feels like 'lament' is all we know. We remember the hope, but can't regain it. Expectancy.

Here are a couple of verses from Isaiah 30 .... (NRSV)

"For they are rebellious people, faithless children, children who will not hear the instruction of the Lord; who say to the seers, "Do not see", and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us what is right; speak to us smooth things, prophecy illusions, leave the way, turn aside from the path, let us hear no more about the Holy One of Israel."

....

"For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength. But you refused and said, 'No, we must flee upon horses.'

...

'Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therfore he will rise up to show mercy to you. for the Lord is a God of Justice; Blessed are those who wait for him.'

...

What is meaningful for YOU this advent season? What new things are you learning about waiting.. arriving.. expecting.. hoping... Emmanuel?

The Ethic of Dishes

Class last week was about Counselling Ethics. Amid studying counselling contracts and various associations' codes of ethics, we also centred our time each day around the 'Ethics of the Kingdom.' (It's good to be in a counselling program at a seminary!) This was accomplished by spending 60-90 minutes reflecting on the Sermon on the Mount - individually and in groups. It was a wonderful exercise, and I know it'll help me in practice far more than the many case studies about all the creative ways clients might someday find to sue me.

In our discussions, we referred often to 'a righteousness that surpasses that of the Pharisees.' (Matthew 5:20) We kept going back to it as we realized that in our future work - as in life - it all centers around something more than adherence to rules. (or codes of ethics) Those rules/codes are important, (not abolished) - but if thats all there is, then there is very little indeed.

This post could be about the theological insights and counselling application found in the Sermon on the Mount; but instead, its about an issue of communal living that tops the list of things that irritate people.

Do dishes in your house pile up? They do here. Not every day, but some days, everyone just takes a stance of 'I didn't use it; I'm not washing it!' - it has actually happened that everyone goes on strike until all the dishes are dirty. You think I'm kidding. Not so.

It is easy to think that all we need is to apply rules.

Rule #1: If you use a dish, wash it.

thats basic, right? Should make everything go swimmingly, if only everyone would JUST DO IT!!

But then, what about the dryer rack of clean dishes that need to be sanitized? (We have commercial sanitizers, not dishwashers, in both kitchens)

Rule #2: If you put the dish into the rack that makes it 'full', load them all into the sanitizer.

But, what about when the sanitizer is finished the cycle? Whose 'job' is it to put those steaming hot dishes away?

Rule #3: Wait for the sanitizer to be done and then put them away.

But what about when I've done it the last 10 times and all anyone ever seems to do is wash their one dish?

Rule #4: Talk about sharing the load with others. Ask for help if no offers are forthcoming.

But what about ....

Its ridiculous how long that list could get, and its just about DISHES, for goodness sake?

And we didn't even mention so many other situation arising from the task of dishes; what about when a dish wasn't specifically used by you, or when everyone is sharing the leftovers from last night's supper and no one feels like the utensils, pots, and bowl are 'their' dish? And what about cleaning out the sink, especially the gungy stuff that collects around the drain? Should we parcel that out as a special role too? Maybe we could make a rule about how much grubby stuff should be left on your plate after eating, so that not too much of same grubby stuff ends up clogging the drain. And what about the crumbs and spills on the counter? Everyone claims that its not their mess, so it can sit there for a long time...

It can get complicated if we only have rules to tell us how to live together. And the thing about rules is that there are always exceptions. You're sick, you're busy, you've already fulfilled many obligations today... If all we have is rules, we may be able to create an illusion of community, but its superficial... hingeing on constant obedience or the next time someone breaks a rule.

Conversely, if we have no rules, chaos reigns.

So, what can we do?

This is where the ethic comes in.. the ethic of the dishes. (or the ethic of the kingdom :)

Notice those around you. They're blessed, they're loved. Pitch in! Be a light, don't add to the darkness. (or the messiness) Be an example. Don't just put up with people, go farther than that. And don't do any of this for your own exaltation; it's NOT about YOU! Be generous, this is holy. Overlook some things in order to see other things more clearly . Go on, it doesn't hurt!

One more class reflection. We read more from a man called Michael White, from Australia.

He speaks about the ethic of control vs. the ethic of collaboration. (specifically in the therapy setting)

But I think there is something unique about that that makes it applicable to far more...

With rules, we're seeking to create a controlled environment.

With something higher, different than rules, we're seeking to collaborate with the people and realities before us.

Michael White also links an emphasis on the ethic of control to burn out. Whereas an emphasis on the ethic of collaboration? Refreshment, a sense of purpose, an invitation...