Full

You know how you feel after a turkey dinner? Full, but not room for another bite. Well, maybe a little pumpkin pie...


That is how I'm feeling right now, but not in the physical I've eaten lots kind of way, but in the spiritual I've received lots kind of way.


I was just a collaborator on a ladies retreat speaking assingment. The preparation, the delivery, the experience, the women I was with, the leading of the spirit... FILLING. better than pumpkin pie, even with whipped cream.


My son just turned 13. The last two nights around the supper table, talking, eating his fave meals, perusing the journal we made him, seeing him begin to grasp 'growing up'.... FILLING. better than mashed potatoes with corn all smushed over the top.


Bethany College is awesome. Christ focused post secondary education, young people who are committed to figuring out what they're called to; what service is; how they can make a difference, what 'church' means, how they can live out their love for Jesus in transformational ways... being able to be involved in that in the smallest of ways... huge privilege..... FILLING. better than squishy, soft, white buns with real butter.


HOME - not the dwelling you live in, but the marriage and family and relationships and laughter and community and even conflict that are safe, accepting, truthful, comfy, right, ... FILLING. better than mom's peas with the creamy sauce.

Tonight there was a church business meeting, where many from our congregation gathered to talk honestly about things important to this group of believers. There was such an earthy love for God and for all people expressed, some courageous moments, and some statements of commitment about caring for our community and not getting hung up things that distract us from our purpose as the body of Christ.... FILLING. better than stuffing with cranberries in it.


Guidance from God. Deep 'gut' feelings...There are times when you wonder, and times when you're sure. It is FILLING to be sure and to trust.

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

just like Bette.. without the eyes :)

so, we've been doing these celebrity personality quizzes. I'm a Bette Davis. Can you see the resemblance? I just wore that gown to work last week, maybe you missed it. Caused quite a stir in the caf at lunch time.

See the quizzes here.

They're surprisingly accurate and don't take long. And they're fun. For those of you who are coming to the Hepburn retreat this weekend; we will be exploring some personality fun on Friday night...

ok, here are my results...

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me
* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

(hmmm... sounds right so far...)

What's Hard About Being a Bette
* overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
* being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
* putting too much pressure on myself
* getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bettes as Children Often
* are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
* seize control so they won't be controlled
* figure out others' weaknesses
* take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents
* are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
* are sometimes overprotective
* can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Demanding? Independent? Impatient? Stomp?

..... really.

you should do one too. I've seen two Hepburnites compared to Hepburns... Audrey and Katherine.

Broken

I felt prompted this morning to revisit a familiar place in Scripture.. John 15. And I came away with new insight ... our abiding is not only a commitment to remain with, abide in, connect ourselves intentionally to Jesus... its also about COMPLETION. As in, my brokenness is healed/addressed and I am made more 'complete' as I dwell with (abide in) Jesus.

... my profound thought for today.

Shalom.

Who do you think I am?

An article has captured my imagination. It's from the Walrus magazine. An artist has met with a few random Canadians, asking them to use the identification tools (similar to those used by police investigators) to create composite pictures of themselves.

"The result is a study in the complexity and conflictedness of identity, of the subtle disjunctions between how we look from the outside and how we think of ourselves from the inside."

...yeah... what he said.

check it out here (and don't miss out on the bonus 'online only' images.. they're the most interesting ones!) Scroll down to get the article text after the first image, then scroll through the images... It's worth the time, pretty fascinating!

I've been considering the importance of self awareness, and self acceptance lately. Studying this group of photos reveals how the gap between how we see ourselves and how we really appear. (or how others see us) It's pretty amazing to see the "I wish I was...." come through the composites that show how individuals see themselves...

I think my composite would look like this: (at least lately, this is how I see myself...)

Some days, or at least for a few moments some days, I'd think I must look like this:

But the me I'm longing to be most of the time looks sort of like this: I couldn't leave it at funny, had to inject some sap... and I really do miss the days when my kids were littler!!!!

This & that & even more...

hmmm, whats new with us... some people were asking for a bit of an update...

Brendan and I are going to a Steve Bell concert next weekend in S'toon.. on a DATE. A great reminder of Winnipeg and a great way to spend an evening together. Can't wait! Sometimes it feels like we've been married every minute of the 15 years we'll soon be celebrating.... other times, I have no idea where the time has gone! As I was ordering the tickets, we almost called up another couple and asked them to join us, and then pretty much simultaneously we both said.. hey.. wait a second... how about just the two of us go? Now.. who wants to feed our kids next Sunday night?!

Owen and Syd are enjoying school this year - they were ready for summer to be over. Volleyball games start this week, we're looking forward to that. O says he has mastered overhand serves in practices so far. He is actually a very changed guy from the one who moved from Winnipeg. He is a full head taller than me and its downright weird. He's still playing guitar, and his band's name (I think?!) is sense of security. (changed from soul poured out..) They haven't played in church or anywhere yet this year, we'll see... I hope to hear them soon. Syd is going to start guitar along with her voice lessons in Oct. She'd probably prefer piano, but we have three guitars and zero pianos so that sort of made the decision! She continues to develop and be a preteen girl. What can I say.. there is plenty of screaming and screeching in our house - both the good kind (Joe Jonas is soooo cute!) and the not so good kind (stay out of my room! and I LIKE that moldy milk on the dresser!)

Some recently read books to recommend:
The Source (Michener): I finally finished this book that I started in July. I loved it!! It was a challenging read, but a worthwhile one. The history of Israel was fictionalized, but there was enough accurate history to make it interesting and informative.

Pillars of the Earth (Follett): Another great read about history, especially church history. My understanding was expanded, and I really grew in my understanding contextual faith. Our practices are related to the practices of those around us, no matter how unique we think we might be... and change to any 'cultural' practice, be it around expressing faith or any number of things.. is slow in the coming. Fascinating bit of info is that Ken Follett calls himself a very unspiritual person.. yet he wrote something that sure speaks powerfully about spirituality and the body of Christ. Reader warning: there are some pretty graphic scenes that almost made me stop reading. I'm glad I didn't.

the Shack (Young); A book that was highly recommended by several people. Would I call it life changing? I'm still sitting on the fence. What I liked best about this book was that it was somehow affirming to me personally. I felt after reading it like the way I relate to God was perhaps not as strange and girly and silly as I've always thought. I grabbed The Barbarian Way a couple of weeks ago, I've heard that its supposed to be for late-comers to faith like me, you know, the ones who just sort of invent their own brand of expression because they don't know all the rules? I won't be reading it for a while though... I would most definitely encourage others to read the Shack. I think it stretches us in lots of good ways.

What else? I'm taking a Mark course, taught by Tim Geddert, all next week. I'm really ready for a change of pace, and I don't think its such a stretch for me to actually take part in a Bethany class. It's not a good time.. would there have ever been a good time?! I'm taking it for Seminary credit, so my assignments are slightly different that our students. I'm pretty pumped about it. The commentary we're using was actually written by the instructor, so I think he knows his stuff. I hear that he's one of the best and most interesting teachers around.

We're looking forward to being in Winnipeg for Thanksgiving. Can't wait to see family and friends.. especially TJ, Eryka and Haily! (they're the ones who really change between visits!) Two of my sisters have moved to new homes, so we'll be checking those out for the first time, and I look very forward to sunday at KPAC, except, what will it be without Liza? I'm a bit disappointed about that! I think we're putting together a girls night out - or maybe a breakfast on the Saturday (oct 11?) at Pineridge Hollow? If any winnipeggers are reading and want to come and have a preference, let me know... we're flying there and driving back, so it'll be really nice to have a bit less road time this trip. The bad news is we won't be there for Christmas. Our budget said a simple Hepburn Christmas is just the right thing...

a couple of final newsy things: We are now part of a supper club (this is for you, Kim :) and it is so, so, so awesome. I heartily recommend other families consider one if the supper rush is a frustrating experience. How it works is this: You get together with a couple of other families, and each family takes a turn cooking for all the families. (So, ours is three families - I make supper once for everyone, and then, two glorious nights each week, supper shows up at my door.) So far, it has meant I just work later, but at some point in the near future, there will be an hour of peace and calm in my house between work and eating. How awesome is that? And, we have so far sampled all the family favorites from each participant... what a blessing to somehow feel part of other families' traditions!
my next idea is a PROJECT club. I'm pretty sure Lisa is either interested or I've pushed her hard enough; but either way, we're looking for a couple of others.. so, each month, you rotate houses and devote a couple of hours to a project.. redecorating a living room, organizing a closet, cleaning out a pantry.. whatever! Interested?

Theres the update, from all of us. Take care, and have a wonderful week!

friendships

Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy. It says that in Proverbs. I want to express that in life. I want to trust the Lord to 'wound' me in order to bring about growth and transformation inside me - and for the most part, He'll be needing others to co-operate with Him. Are you up for that? Are you committed to playing this role with all your friends?

There are so many encouragements about friendship and supporting each other in Scripture.
How do we do that.. how do we have the courage to speak honestly to each other... in love? Do you experience that in friendships? Do you feel truly held up, loved for who you are as well as who you aren't?

I'm preparing for an upcoming retreat where I'll be sharing the speaking duties with an incredible new friend and woman of God.. we want to talk about relationships, and the theme of the weekend is friendships.

God encouraged me through friends this week, and I received love and concern, prayers and encouragements through the hands and words of God's people. I was reminded how vital it is that we submit to each other and hear what needs to be heard. Its vital that we have the courage to say what needs to be said, too. I received other kinds of gifts through friends, too.

One friend told me that I had slighted my husband in a conversation where she was present. She was sort of sheepish as she said it, but concluded with 'I love you and I know you want to grow, and I know you can handle this.' I realized immediately that she was right, I had intervened unnecessarily in a situation I should have let alone. I went from our visit straight to Bren to ask for forgiveness. Later in the week, another friend interrupted me mid-sentence as I described something I was rather passionate and intense about, and asked if I meant to be coming across as angry and defensive... because if that wasn't my intent, then I needed to change my tone. Hmm. Two brave 'confrontations' from people who know how much I want to be like Jesus and who love me enough to push me toward that impossible goal I'll be working at for my whole life.

How about you? I'm really interested in how we love, encourage, push, and challenge each other. Has a friend wounded you in necessary ways? Have you received meaningless kisses from people who don't really care about your transformation as a disciple? Has a challenging truth been lovingly shared with you? How commom is this? What does the content of our friendships say? I'm interested in knowing...

What's New?

A tag from Jess: State five things that are new in your life - they could be anything from a profound personal realization to a new favorite restaurant. Here goes...

1. New BED - Bren and I went bed shopping for the first time ever during the summer. We purchased an overpriced and overstuffed mattress that makes bedtime really great. Gettinguptime is not so easy. We also got high thread count sheets for the first time. I highly recommend both!


2. New understanding of devotion(s) - A very wise woman helped me to crystallize my own thoughts about 'personal devotions' - she said that putting an 's' on the end of the word 'devotion' takes something that is beautiful and worthy and makes it ugly. Well said! It is better to live a life of devotion, that is expressed through all manner of experiences, than it is to check a task off our daily to do list. I get to work with some of the amazingest people at Bethany. They're a pretty smart and gifted bunch.


3. New deepening friendships - Now that we're not so new in our community, relationships are getting a bit deeper and true friendships are developing. I am blessed, but also have frequent pangs of grief as I miss old friends, (Lorrie, Lisa, Karen, Cory, Carol, Heidi, Zofia, Jilly, and many others...) and old haunts, (my kitchen on Seymour, Grace Cafe, the Robins on Lag and Grassie, the Robins on Mountain at Main), and in general, the old life we had that was pretty awesome.

1. New understanding of ABIDING - "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13. Or: "I can do nothing, and any efforts are in vain, without giving everything to Jesus and receiving from Him what is needed for every circumstance, relationship, need, and conversation"- (Biblegateway couldn't help me find the verse for that one :)


2. New love for my husband - Through two opportunities that were somewhat gut wrenching, I've seen Bren make decisions and commitments that have re-opened my eyes to what a great person he is. I really like him a lot, and I really like being married to him forever and ever. I wish once again that we could get to exhilarating, really good and right places without mucking along beforehand. Nope, it just don't work that way!


3. New purse - I got a LUG bag in August after looking for a new purse all summer, throughout Manitoba and Saskatchewan. I'm really not materialistic , but I L O V E this bag. It was worth the wait and every penny.

I'm tagging: Rob & Carol, LT, Chris & Bec, Jeff, and one of the two bloggers-in-hiding I know that have pages designed but haven't yet started posting... you know who you are!

** about devotions: I realized after i wrote this that it sounded kind of harsh.. not meant to be so. I just hear more guilt and UN-life giving sentiment associated with the commonly used term 'devotions'. I know that there's more than that out there....

*** another new thing: Supper Club!!! I can't believe I forgot this in the original post!! Once per week, we make supper for ourselves and two other families.. we deliver two suppers and eat the third. And then , twice per week, the other families do the same, so we end up with supper being delivered to our door -Hot and Ready to EAT Twice every week! I am pumped about this idea.