inviting and aesthetically pleasing?

aes·thet·ic   –adjective

1. pertaining to a sense of the beautiful or to the science of aesthetics.

2. having a sense of the beautiful; characterized by a love of beauty.

3. pertaining to, involving, or concerned with pure emotion and sensation as opposed to pure intellectuality.
 
I have struggled with what is 'aesthetically pleasing' much of my life.  I resisted 'china patterns' and other 'fine' things when we got married, considering them frivolous and unnecessary.  My home has been called eclectic by some nice friends who didn't know what to call a 'style' that was thrown together and relatively unconsidered.  I prefer dishes and patterns that are mismatched.  When making a purchase, I will invariably look for the 'imperfect'. All aspects of my 'style' consist primarily of things that 1) are practical, or 2) have some special meaning.
 
In San Francisco, I purchased a ring with a large blue stone.  Perhaps subconsciously, it reminded me of a ring that my mom wore... but consciously, I was drawn to it because it had three small greyish dots marring the blue stone - I loved most of all that it wasn't pristine.
 
I read somewhere that there is a Native American tradition of leaving a blemish in the corner of a handwoven rug - because the weavers believe that this leaves a place for the spirit to enter..  Interesting thought - blemishes invite something profound.  I wonder then, what does the pursuit of perfection and flawlessness invite? What does it resist?
 
Its a wrestle when I find myself liking stuff or style or outer appearances very much.  I don't want to notice or care.  I don't want to be influenced at all by some perception of beauty or style that has been sold to me like a bill of goods by my culture - I want to be impervious to it.  It bugs me how susceptible I am ... why did I want to come home from holiday with a piece of jewellery to remember the trip?  Why am I like that?!
 
When I am having this inner wrestle, I inevitably recognize the importance of the beautiful things that inspire and speak to us.  Our spirits and imaginations need provoking in enlarging and good ways.  Art, for example, deepens our  understanding of whatever  is depicted.  Cozy spaces help us to feel safe and warm.  Inviting decor encourages conversation, laughter, friendship.  A blue ring with an imperfect stone reminds me of a lovely family holiday,  of creative and talented street vendors who love their craft.  Imagination and beauty are undoubtedly essentials to our lives.  The wrestle for me is about where the line is.  As with all things, we are so good at finding counterfeits for the essential beauty that inspires us.  I want to resist my impulse to manufacture beauty, to grasp wildly, to settle.