family, community, home

Some flatlanders have been reading this book together called "Schools for Conversion: Marks of the New Monasticism." Its been delightful to read and share together. Last week, we read the chapter on Hospitality to the Stranger and found many parallels to transitional members we have in our community.
The chapter opens with a heartwarming story of a couple who struggle through a friendship with a mentally ill friend named John, who they finally end up inviting into their home, into their family. The journey begins when a stormy night finds them unable to abide his homelessness, his lack of safety and support.

"We were tormented. Surely we couldn't take him into our home, could we?

He smells bad.. but a shower would fix that. He's paranoid.. but who isn't sometimes?

He hoards things.. well, we have closet space to share. .. finally we realized the truth -

that John had become our friend, and that it would devastate us if anything

happened to him." (page 40)

The end of the story is so hope filled and inspiring... the three become a beautiful family, eventually sharing victories and life changes TOGETHER. Eventually, John's habits change, and his once destructive patterns diminish as a result of supportive, loving community. The circle is completed as John offers hospitality to others from a place of love and acceptance.

A couple of posts earlier this week highlighted the tension that is so apparent. What about the stories that are not quite so hope filled? What about when the 'family' is ready, willing, able .. and the 'John' wants desperately to embrace their offer yet ... can't? What about when the family is unraveling at expense of the offering, yet still knows that they would be devastated if anything happened to their loved one - so they keep offering and offering while 'John' runs away? What if they've sought him out, time and again, wanting to be like the shepherd who goes after the 'one lamb', but now the seeking has become all consuming?

What does it mean to truly offer dignity? How do we truly offer love and respect to all, even to the point of respecting the most destructive and unnecessary of choices? Another passage from a different chapter of this book comes to mind, where Shane Claiborne discussed Jesus' response to the Rich Man;

"I think it broke Jesus' heart to let the man walk away. The text says that

Jesus looked at the man and loved him as he walked away.

Jesus doesn't run after him and say, 'hey.. its a journey..

just give half.' He doesn't say, 'just start with 10%' ..

he simply lets the man choose ..." (page 33)

Granted this passage and claiborne's reference to it are not about offering radical hospitality, but still... what does it look like to respect the choices of those we love? And keep loving them? What if I was writing all this about my own child? would my internal process be different than it is because I'm writing about people who are not 'mine'? Should this be so?

I don't have answers to these questions.. only tension.

However, I do have this verse I've been meditating on and praying all week:

"... no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him. - these things are revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God." (1 Corinthians)