offering and do it anyway

A few days ago, I had my first solo meal at Flatlanders. It won't happen often, so I enjoyed the solitude and peace. (i much prefer loud and happy shared meals!) As I munched on a yummy salad and leftover potatoes, I reached for the Flatlanders Community Handbook. I pored over it a little more than I had in the past, because it was so quiet.

A concept that jumped out at me was 'offering ourselves'. Here's an excerpt from the handbook:

"Flatlanders Inn is an intentional Christian Community. Each person has purposefully chosen to live together and offer themselves to each other."

This concept of offering oneself is woven throughout the whole handbook. And I know its a fundamental concept to the whole place; I experience the reality of it lived out on a daily basis. I treasure it and am often blessed by the various expressions it takes each day.

So why was I stumbling over these words, returning to them over and over? I realized that I was being convicted.. there was that familiar, slightly painful, yet very gentle stab. As I allowed the understanding to deepen, I grew more aware of the 'ouch'. It was like I was looking within with eyes cringed, not wanting to see what I suspected was there....

Offering myself.. here's what I realized: I only want to do it on my terms, and I want a pretty hefty insurance policy on the whole thing. I want to allow the hurt I've experienced in the past to guide me, I want permission to use the 'experience is the best teacher' excuse to protect myself from others... and you know what? That's not who I want to be. That's not what I want to sow into the world, least of all into this beautiful community we get to be part of.

That stab of conviction? It eased as soon as it accomplished its purpose. But I sure hope it returns quickly if I lose sight of what it revealed.

I was journalling about all this today, and a poem I read somewhere along the way came to mind. I thought I'd share it . I actually found two versions online, one credited to Mother Theresa, and the other to Kent Keith. They're both below...

I don't know what the official title of the poem is, but I call it 'do it anyway'.

This version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.

Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

******

The Original Version: The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

I found both of these here. (I prefer Mother Theresa's version, how about you?!)

... In spite of (insert your fears here), OFFER YOURSELF ANYWAY.