linked blogs...

Some of you have asked if I know all those bloggers linked on the left sidebar - or if not, why i've linked them on here.... so, i thought i'd fill you in ... I know some of you read a few of them regularly from here.


the order always changes, because they are listed in order of recent posts; so the one at the top of the list is the person who has blogged most recently.

*************

Leighton is a friend from SK. He writes good stuff about life and faith and church and he's really cool. I miss going for lunch with him at the KK :) -Actually, I miss going for lunch with anyone at the KK, I loved that place!-


Consciously Frugal is written by a blogger from California. She has lots of fun and interesting things to say and I'm glad we've connected. I found her blog through Real Simple Magazine.


Jamie is a fellow Winnipeger who I first ran into when he spoke at our church in Winnipeg a long time ago. He writes great stuff about his community in inner city Winnipeg, and I always learn something from his posts....


downshifting is a blog from the UK about someone who is living as simply as possible, and writing about the lovely things learned along the way. There are frequent photographs of the British countryside that inspire me! A friend sent me the link a while back, and i was intrigued.

Paul M is a great friend living in Vancouver right now. His posts are most often about family and sports these days, but maybe he'll read this and do a post or two about faith insights - he has great things to say and I kinda miss reading those posts... although i do love keeping up with whats happening in his family, too!


Melanie, Cora Lynn, Connie and Erica are all friends who write a variety of stuff about life. There are often awesome pictures on their blogs too!


Ben and Ang are amazing friends of ours who serve with YWAM all over the world! Or it seems like that, anyway! This blog is one of the creative ways they stay in touch - they are gifted communicators no matter what the method.


Nathan is a former bethany student who is now working in Lima. He keeps everyone up to date on that fun adventure, but also does some good exploring and writing about his faith.


Geez is a local magazine that is kinda fun in a risque sort of way. I like the magazine (when i get a chance to read it!) and try to stay up to date on the blog. Often mentions local events.


Jessica is an artist and writer and all around amazing woman and friend. Also a seminary student, one whose wisdom is beyond her years.


Sheryl is a great writer and has a unique way of finding keen insights in ordinary life. She also sometimes writes about adventures with my kids :)


Siloam's blog is a must read for Winnipeggers. They have lots to say and are doing some really neat things to break down barriers between people in our city.

David is a prof at Briercrest and I like to learn from him. (especially when there is no marking involved!) He really likes to write about Karl Barth.

The Briercrest Seminary blog is kinda self explanatory.

Flatlanders et al. is the blog about the community I live in, and more... there is a farm and another ministry called Freedom house associated with Flatlanders. Hence the blog's name.. FlatFreeFarm... (clever, hey?)

Paul W. is another friend from SK who likes to push the envelope a little in his blog, which is why I like reading it!

There are a few not mentioned here, thats because I don't know them well enough yet to say very much.

Have a great week, and happy surfing!

the struggle is holy

Often when people hear that I'm a student, they ask how I can fit it all in.. how can graduate studies be integrated into family life? It's an interesting question, and its even more interesting that it is THE question or assumption often raised.

The truth though, is that fitting things together isn't nearly as hard as other elements of studying... right now, it's the content and nature of the studies that is the most challenging. The further I go, the more I read, the more inadequate I feel for this program and this work. Sorting THAT out is way more taxing than making sure I find time to write papers as well as spend time with my family and community!

A recent video on Alberta Prime Time, a news show, discussed the Canadian regulation of the field I'm studying - Marriage and Family Therapy. A psychologist was on the show as a guest, suggesting that MFTs don't require unique regulation because they are simply a different approach to providing therapy, one that can be encompassed within existing regulations. The Canadian president of the MFT ass'n (she is from Manitoba!) disagreed, emphasizing the unique specialized training we receive about relationships and relational patterns.

Watching that video was like having a brick dropped on my head in terms of awareness about just what I'm pursuing... MFTs are uniquely trained to be ... relationship experts. YIKES!!

this realization comes at about the same time I am looking around at my closest relationships (in my own family and marriage) and seeing the flaws as if through a microscope. It's not that I ever thought we were perfect, its more that I am becoming equipped to see just how deep the imperfection runs. And quite frankly, all this realizing and examining makes me want to throw in the towel. Looking within makes me cringe and I doubt how much help I could ever offer now that I'm so keenly aware of how much help I need.

I'm reminded of my word of the year - TENSION. As always, my confusion and questions find some resolution in my faith. (resolution is different than SOLUTIONS!)

When thinking about this imperfection through the lens of faith, and considering the Kingdom of God that is already here and yet isn't here yet, I find comfort. When looking around at the brokenness and beauty that co-exist so profoundly around me, I find comfort. When realizing that all of life's depth is a breathtaking mix of good and bad, pain and healing, ashes and restoration, praise and mourning ... that TENSION between poles really characterizes the things that make our existence and relationships so meaningful.

i've been thinking about how important it is that we grasp both our 'image of god-ness' AND our 'wretched-ness'.

Here's a quote from a Canadian author and MD;

"So far as marriages go, ours has been firmly at what may be called the 'conflictual' end of the spectrum. We have worked things out, but it took decades and a lot of energy. In retrospect, we shudder at how hurtful and dark it felt at times, and particularly how our struggles burdened our children's lives. ... Our marriage is now something we celebrate. Our ships, having been tossed and thrown about on heavy seas, have finally arrived safely in the same harbor. But the storms took thier toll on our children. At the end of his delightfully candid 1972 essay, 'My Own Marriage', the great American pshychotherapist and teacher Carl Rogers wrote of the difficulties his adult children were having in their relationships.'So, our growth together into a satisfying relationship for ourselves has constituted no guarantee for our children.'" - Gabor Mate, MD

In one of my class discussion groups, we shared from our personal lives as we interacted with the content. One of us just looked up at the group after a deep and heavy pause in the conversation and said ... 'the struggle is holy.' .... it sure is.....

parenting thoughts

My adolescent daughter has recently given me a list of advice and tips that will help me be a better parent. I thought I'd share the insight with you, just incase you need as much help as I do.

• Everyone lies, its what we're supposed to do. What do you think, people want to hear the TRUTH?!
• Think really hard about what your kids want to hear, and then say only that. Nothing else matters, except that they hear what they want.
• If your child has an opinion that you disagree with, they are right. And it doesn't matter what a parent or anyone else thinks.
• Your child might tell you something today and change his/her mind tomorrow. You better change along with them and not expect anyone to think the same thing for two days in a row.
• Parent's ideas and advice are stupid.
• It was the olden days when you were a kid. You didn't even have a cell phone!
• When kids know that their parents really 'get' them, it makes them even angrier. So don't let it be known that you know that they know they are being ridiculous.
• A parent's job is to buy stuff, make food, and be quiet.

If you think I am making this up, welll ... only a little bit. It can be pretty outrageous in our house some days. Now this will be forever in the blogosphere. This way I can find it and read it at her wedding....

rethinking this blog...

To blog or not to blog... this is the question! Sometimes I find the self centeredness that is required in order to be regular blogger pretty cringe-worthy.

Other times, I have an aha! moment while reading a book or journalling or even having a conversation that gives me an idea for a post... and I do love the idea of a blog being like a public journal.

Sometimes, I have nothing to say and feel like I need to post... but mostly, my reading keeps the ideas coming.

I think I'm going to keep blogging for this year and see where it goes.. I redesigned this blog about 14 months ago, and I have been thinking for the last little while it's time to do it again.. but haven't found the time to do much more than think about it!

The appearance of it is less important to me than the content... the John Stackhouse lecture I went to while at Regent has inspired me to write more, and this is a logical venue for practicing that.. but write about what? There have been several writing encouragements recently, and I do want to intentionally develop that skill. (I submitted a collaboratively written article to a denominational magazine recently!...)

I don't feel qualified to write 'real' theological stuff like some of my very smart friends. There is a lot of insight to be shared about daily life and community, family stories and learnings... or maybe thats just my opinion...

I turned to my stats for some insight. The most read post on this blog? The Bette Davis personality quiz. ... and not for the content; for the image of Bette in her lovely gown. The next two are Jungism and Equifinality... both found regularly by search engines.

I continue to have about 20 readers/day, who stay for less than 1.5 minutes. It seems that about 1/3 of these are random searches, and the rest navigate to the site. There are regular searches for 'kelly/dvorak/blog', so that indicates some ongoing interest. Folks just don't seem interested in the wordier posts, but the photo ones appear to be more appealing. Not a huge surprise ... when surfing, i frequently scroll for content I'm interested in and go elsewhere if my attention is not piqued quickly enough.

... so these are my thoughts this lovely Louis Riel holiday (or family day in other parts of Canada!) ... if you have any content or format change ideas, don't be shy to let me know! Use the comment box or email dvorak DOT kelly AT gmail DOT com.

(if you're wondering why the address is written in that weird format, its because genuine email address are found by spam generators ... and then are used to send all sorts of strange emails and comments!)

a birthday party!

I've been 'mentoring' (a formal word for hanging out together, learning from eachother, and having lots of fun!) Ashley for a number of years. She turned 24 today.. and we met when she was 14. Yikes!

Each year for her birthday, we do this:

1. I ask my wonderful mother in law to make lasagna, which I pick up in advance.

2. Ash invites several friends/family over to my place.

3. I buy a present that Ash usually isn't a fan of.

4. I make a heart shaped cake, to be served with ice cream. (often lopsided, always tasty!)

5. We laugh our heads off and catch up on all the news.

6. Everyone says how old/big/tall my kids are, because of course they can remember them as toddlers!

So, here are a couple of shots of tonights festivities...

This is a shot of Ash and Harvey (checking if he still reads this blog... !!) at Flatlanders during the Christmas season... with Ashley's little guy, Hayden, and Harvey's two sweethearts

An older bday celebration...

And a REALLY old one (2006?)
Traditions are fun! This is one of the best traditions we've honored for many years.. I hope there are many more!

a day in the life...

Some of you may have never seen this little clip.. take a second and enjoy. Even though this was made a while back, it still describes daily life! Amanda is lovely young lady sharing about Flatlanders, and we know that we're still 'home' to her even if she isn't living in the building anymore!

Vancouver in January!

we visited some great friends who are studying in Vancouver last week.

Here are some shots of our time.. enjoy!

greeted by Sasha at the airport.. wearing one of Owen's old toques, and

- of course -

with the wonderful Sasha question.. '... can I tell you something?....'

enjoying reconnecting with the whole family...


eldest and youngest.. which is which?!
Good times with Steve and Terry at Stella's pub on Cambie street.
(banana beer?)


These are crocuses. blooming. in January.
(Steve's yard)




dipping my toe in the ocean.. first time. (sideways?!)

Paul caught the Olympic fever.. or something fun :)

Bren found a car that looks on the outside like his looks on the inside!

a handsome tourist

Part of the team Paul will be going to Haiti with later this year.

Noah and I shared a yummy cream-puff dessert at Granville Island

welcome home.. to birthdays, cake, and family

We had a wonderful visit.. Vancouver is a very inviting city, especially in Metro Van where there are no box stores and the commitment to local vendors and small shops is so apparent. All of a sudden Bren thinks I should take my theology courses at Regent.. but I'm having too much fun driving across the prairies every second month to contemplate that! The mountains are beautiful, but I know I'm a prairie girl at heart.

Regent IS a cool place, though.. took in a lecture with Jess, met with an intriguing author, and was inspired to grow and develop my writing.

Good friends are such a treasure! We loved the sharing, the honesty, the debate, the fun, and the family times..

*check out Sheryl's blog for a post about her adventures with our kids while we were gone...